Phone Messages Aren't Real Comic Strips
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835 Results for Phone Messages Aren't Real
View 1 - 10 results for phone messages aren't real comic strips. Discover the best "Phone Messages Aren't Real" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 13,
2004
Tags #daughter sneezed, #work from home, #answer boss phone, #phone messages aren't real, #bitung humor
Transcript
Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."
Saturday February 10,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #forget them, #quietly supportuive, #too many passwords, #with draw money, #phone messages
Transcript
Dilbert lies on the couch looking worried and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "I have too many passwords in my life. What if I forget them?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he shouts, "You'd lose your job! You wouldn't be able to withdraw money or check phone messages! You'd be dead in a week!" Dilbert's hair and tie fly up and he says, "That would have been a good time to be quietly supportive, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun."
Sunday May 13,
2001
Tags #carol, #connections in war zones, #flights, #good rating, #humilation, #parkside strangler, #phone messages, #press conference, #secretary, #vague objectives, #complaining
Transcript
Carol sits across from the Boss, who says, "Carol, your overall performance rating is 'good.'" Carol screams, "AAAG! Good is bad! What did I do to deserve this humiliation?" The Boss replies, "Well, you gave me six hundred phone messages that said, 'It might have been Bob.'" Carol furiously replies, "You can't tell me that none of them were from a Bob." The Boss continues, "You arranged for all of my flights to have connections in war zones." Carol throws up her arms and says, "Excuse me for trying to save the company some money." The Boss says, "You held a press conference to announce that I was the Parkside Strangler." Later, Carol tells Wally, "And he refuses to take any responsibility for giving me vague objectives."
Saturday June 22,
2002
Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."
Sunday April 30,
2000
Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."
Tuesday May 02,
2017
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone
Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology
Transcript
Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.
Wednesday December 03,
2014
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone
Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups
Transcript
Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.
Sunday March 29,
2015
Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business
Transcript
Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.
Friday October 21,
2016
Alice's Phone Trance
Tags #phone, #cell phone, #distraction, #attention, #social, #interaction, #ignore, #ignoring, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, Alice. Alice... Alice... Alice... Alice... I can't penetrate your phone-induced zombie trance, so I'll just text you. Alice: Stop doing that. Dilbert: I can't hear you because I'm looking at my phone.