Phone Records Comic Strips
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463 Results for Phone Records
View 1 - 10 results for phone records comic strips. Discover the best "Phone Records" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 19,
2003
Tags #cooperate with hunt, #17 suspects, #talked to reporter, #email archives, #phone records, #linguistic patterns, #punish all of them
Transcript
Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I've narrowed the list to seventeen suspects who might have talked to that reporter." The Boss continues, "Now we'll check their e-mail archives, phone records and linguistic patterns until we identify the offender." Catbert says, "And then we can punish all of them just for being on the list." The Boss responds, "I like the way you stink."
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Thursday June 22,
2017
Dilbert Is Cleared Of Colluding
Tags #crime, #attorney, #lawyer, #collusion, #donald trump, #russia, #legal
Transcript
Dogbert: I've investigated Dilbert's email and phone records and I can say with confidence he did not collude with Elbonia. But there are many, many other crimes he might have committed, and you should pay me to investigate them. Dilbert: That wasn't helpful. Dogbert: Stop making it all about you.
Thursday July 02,
1998
Tags #dogcarts tech support, #abuse, #slow internet, #records, #porn, #caused by porn
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert at computer terminal speaking to employee on the phone. Dogbert says, "How may I abuse you today?" Employee responds, "The Internet is slow. What causes that?" Employee sitting at his terminal speaking to Dogbert on the phone. Dogbert says, "That can only be caused by you looking at porn." Dogbert says, "I'll need your name for our records." Dogbert hears a "Click" on the line.
Tuesday June 18,
2002
Tags #ethical, #accounting records, #massive shortsell, #wrong one
Transcript
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"
Wednesday December 03,
2014
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone
Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups
Transcript
Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.
Friday October 21,
2016
Alice's Phone Trance
Tags #phone, #cell phone, #distraction, #attention, #social, #interaction, #ignore, #ignoring, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, Alice. Alice... Alice... Alice... Alice... I can't penetrate your phone-induced zombie trance, so I'll just text you. Alice: Stop doing that. Dilbert: I can't hear you because I'm looking at my phone.
Monday May 01,
2017
Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone
Tags #cell phone, #germs, #cleanliness, #bathroom, #technology
Transcript
Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.
Tuesday May 02,
2017
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone
Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology
Transcript
Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.
Wednesday May 03,
2017
Tina Has Phone Anxiety
Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology
Transcript
Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.