dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions.
ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill."
dilbert: you're a good planner.
Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?
Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.
Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm bailing out of your project; it has the scent of failure." As Wally walks away, he adds, "I will attach myself to a more successful host to ensure my survival." Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch. He says, "Do you have a pill for someone who gets rejected by Wally?" The therapist replies, "A loser pill?"
The Boss addresses a meeting, "From now on, I want you to stagger your lunch so someone is always here." Asok exclaims, "Gaaa! As the lowest person in the pecking order, I will never know in advance when I can eat." Asok yells, "It is the end of errands as I know them!!" The Boss turns and says, "Sheesh, take a pill."
"I'm addicted to Spam. I can't resist."
"Last week I bought every pill that was offered and took them at the same time."
"Let me tell you, there are a few pills you don't want to mix with the gingko biloba."
"FBI, we need to talk to you." "We've traced the source of all internet spam to your house." "All of it?" "...The revolutionary new pill that turns your body fat into rolex watches!"
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."
Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill."
CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately."
Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company.
CEO: Gurgle
Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet because it's more interesting than people. Is there a pill you can give to everyone else to make them more interesting? Doctors never want to treat the underlying problem.
