Planning Number Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

224 Results for Planning Number

View 1 - 10 results for planning number comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #left engineering, #acme manger, #sexy, #liz, #decrease sex appeal, #planning number, #ham radio licence, #compensate loss, #goose bumps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."

View more books now

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #next is lie, #personnel officers, #planning layoffs, #questioning, #repeat question, #communication styles, #pattern of talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you planning layoffs? Boss: Am I planning layoffs? Dilbert: When you repeat my question it means the next thing you say will be a lie. Go. Boss: I love your stinkin' guts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fee, #how the future works, #portfolio, #retirement planning, #understanding future

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #woman, #dream, #phone number

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "I'm so mad at myself this morning." Dilbert continues, "Last night I dreamed I met a beautiful woman." Dogbert asks, "So what's the problem?" Dilbert replies, "I forgot to get her phone number."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #scientific, #test, #women's institution, #Number, #5.`362894, #love, #numbers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #economy, #mud, #planning, #pigs, #communism, #elbonia, #Political, #capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #glumb, #Dogbert, #lonely, #entertain, #dance, #Number, #bond, #replace, #dancing, #rat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Ratbert stands on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why are you so glum?" Dilbert replies, "It's lonely when Dogbert is away." Ratbert says as he dances, "Lonely? Ha! Let me entertain you with a little dance number. Then we'll bond and I'll replace Dogbert as your best friend!" Ratbert dances and signs "Kumbaya." Dilbert says, "Now I'm lonely and I have a dancing rat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."