Planning On Listening Comic Strips

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205 Results for Planning On Listening

View 1 - 10 results for planning on listening comic strips. Discover the best "Planning On Listening" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags issue, misleading, explination, understand, planning on listening

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The Boss: Tell me again what the issue is. Dilbert: do you want the simple but misleading explanation or the one you won't understand. The Boss: either one is good; I wasn't planning on listening,

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

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Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, hallucinations, strategic planners, future, pretend, different happens, visualize, game, work, planning

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Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Two Ways To Avoid Listening

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Two Ways To Avoid Listening  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, mentor, listening, attention

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Wally: There are two good ways to avoid listening to others. 1.) Do all of the talking yourself, and 2:) be too busy to listen. Asok: That sounds simplistic. Wally: I'm late for a meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, communication skills, poor skills, random numbers, spreadsheet, clarify, listening skills

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Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags next is lie, personnel officers, planning layoffs, questioning, repeat question, communication styles, pattern of talking

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Dilbert: Are you planning layoffs? Boss: Am I planning layoffs? Dilbert: When you repeat my question it means the next thing you say will be a lie. Go. Boss: I love your stinkin' guts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, office workers, planning, assignments, entre schedule, next assignment

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Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, joking, project staus update, improve listening skills, repeating

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Boss: Alice, I need your project status update by end of day. Alice: Ahleth, ah wan yer proja thatuth updah, fuh-fuh-fuh. I'm trying to improve my listening skills by repeating what people say.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, pretend, helpful, awkwardly upsell, listening, refrigerator, ice

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Dilbert is shopping. A salesman approaches him and says "Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you?" Dilbert replies "Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things?" "Cool," says the salesman. Dilbert thinks to himself "I'm glad I don't have your job." The salesman asks him "How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fee, how the future works, portfolio, retirement planning, understanding future

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Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, technical, listening, conclusion, consciousness

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Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."