Planning Reward Comic Strips
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142 Results for Planning Reward
View 1 - 10 results for planning reward comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Reward" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 31,
2007
Tags #firing, #let go, #no money, #budget, #typo, #request, #planning reward, #hard work
Transcript
The Boss: "Ted, I have to let you go, but there's a good reason." "There's no money to pay your salary because I made a typo in my budget request." "Until then, I was totally planning to reward your hard work."
Wednesday December 17,
2014
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning
Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning
Transcript
Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.
Tuesday November 08,
2011
Tags #next is lie, #personnel officers, #planning layoffs, #questioning, #repeat question, #communication styles, #pattern of talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Are you planning layoffs? Boss: Am I planning layoffs? Dilbert: When you repeat my question it means the next thing you say will be a lie. Go. Boss: I love your stinkin' guts.
Saturday November 26,
2011
Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment
Transcript
Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.
Thursday June 28,
2012
Tags #fee, #how the future works, #portfolio, #retirement planning, #understanding future
Transcript
Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.
Saturday April 07,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #economy, #mud, #planning, #pigs, #communism, #elbonia, #Political, #capitalism
Transcript
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.
Thursday January 23,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #friend, #tip, #authorities, #stock, #afraid, #kept, #money, #reward
Transcript
Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I thought you were my friend, Ratbert. Why did you tip off the authorities about my insider stock trading?" Ratbert replies, "I was afraid that if you kept the money you would leave and I'd never see you again." Dogbert says, "Really? Gee . . ." Dogbert asks, "Did they give you a reward?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah, I'm outta here!"
Wednesday October 26,
1994
Tags #planning to focus, #products killing people, #steal office supplies, #studies are flawed, #urban areas, #advertising
Transcript
"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We know our products are killing people, but we're claiming the studies are flawed." "We're planning to focus our advertising on the youth markets in poor urban areas." "So, given all that, is it okay for me to steal office supplies?" "I'd have to say yes."
Thursday January 19,
1995
Tags #left engineering, #acme manger, #sexy, #liz, #decrease sex appeal, #planning number, #ham radio licence, #compensate loss, #goose bumps
Transcript
Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."
Saturday February 18,
1995
Tags #bad news, #no raises, #making worse, #own reward, #rewarded, #twice as much
Transcript
The caption reads, "Bad news." The Boss sits at his desk saying, "We're not giving any raises." The captions reads, "Making it worse." The Boss says, "But we think work is its own reward." The caption reads, "Making it MUCH worse." The Boss says, "Expect to get rewarded about twice as much next year."