Dogbert: This is Dogbert's tech support. How many I abuse you? Boss: I think my digital modem is broken. Dogbert: Please hold while I pretend to be testing it. Okay, it looks fine from here. The problem must be in your wiring. You'll have to rip out all of the wiring in your entire house to locate the problem. Boss: Are you sure? Because the lights on the modem aren't even on. Dogbert: That means you have moisture on your internal wiring. You'll also need to replace all of your plumbing and get a new roof. Boss: May I speak with your supervisor? Dogbert: Sure. But he sounds exactly like me.
"The feral employee"
"I'm taking a chance by hiring you. Dont make me regret it."
"Today, one of my seasoned professionals will teach you to use indoor plumbing."
"Look! Look at me! The newspaper tucks under the arm!"
Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night.
Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser.
Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?
"Are you going to lunch?"
"Lunch already?"
"Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper."
"You take your non-work seriously."
"I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."
