Pointy Haired Pete Comic Strips
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122 Results for Pointy Haired Pete
View 1 - 10 results for pointy haired pete comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Haired Pete" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 20,
2002
Tags #senior vice presdient, #cyrus, #virus, #infection, #managers, #old cronmies, #pointy haired pete
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."
Monday July 04,
1994
Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Tuesday June 27,
1995
Tags #benchmark, #world class companies, #compare, #verbs, #nouns, #assign, #engineers, #field research, #pointy haired idioits
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys have any pointy-haired idiots running your place? . . . Would you like one?"
Wednesday August 21,
1996
Tags #new data encryption, #phb, #pointy haired boss, #converts email, #manager babble, #carry pepper spray, #supermodel
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and tells Dogbert, "I invented a new data encryption program called P.H.B. which stands for Pointy-Haired Boss." Dilbert explains, "It converts e-mail into manager babble. Nobody can intercept and decode my private messages without the key." Dogbert asks, "Who would want to read YOUR messages?" Dilbert says, "Somebody MIGHT want to read my messages. It could happen!" Dogbert says, "And maybe you should carry pepper spray in case supermodels try to kiss you."
Tuesday December 10,
1996
Tags #dogcart the consultant, #meet boss, #dogcart talks, #crud, #crudibility, #pointy haired wonder
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. He tells the Boss, "Let me do the talking when we meet with your boss." Dogbert says to a woman behind a desk, "As you know, any idea from the pointy-haired wonder is crud, but when you add my ability, what do you have?" The woman asks, "Crudability?" Dogbert says, "And good looks too!"
Saturday June 21,
1997
Tags #ego, #pointy haired boss, #standing in offcie, #thimble sized morale, #tic tac container, #protect
Transcript
Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So our pointy-haired boss put me in charge of your project . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Because I was standing in his office when he thought about the project." Dilbert says, "If it makes you feel better, you can keep your morale in this thimble with mine." Wally replies, "I keep mine in a 'Tic Tac' container with my ego."
Sunday December 08,
1996
Tags #pointy haired boss, #speakerphone, #important engineer training, #talks back to speakerphone, #boss heard insults
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss will be joining us by speakerphone." Alice tells Asok, "This is an important part of your engineering trainig, Asok." Asok asks, "What do I do?" Wally explains, "When Alice presses the mute button, you make witty and sarcastic remarks." The phone rings. The Boss says, "Hello, everyone. I'd like to talk about the new compensation plan." Alice presses a button and points to Asok. Asok says, "Tell us some lies, you ugly, two-faced, hypocritical troll!" Asok continues, "I am Asok the Intern and I spit on your feeble compensation plan!" Asok continues, "I've found stuff on the bottom of my shoe that was smarter than you!!" He laughs. Dilbert and Asok walk out of the conference room. Dilbert says, "Next time, a bit wittier . . . And make sure Alice really presses the mute button."
Sunday February 16,
1997
Tags #leadership seminar, #manager motivates employees, #14 hour days, #filthy sadist, #pointy haired imbecile, #leader, #unpopular decions, #training engineers
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally grumble as they enter a leadership seminar. The instructor asks, "What would you call a manager who motivates employees to work fourteen hours a day?" Alice answers, "A filthy sadist." Dilbert answers, "Pointy-haired imbecile." The instructor says, "Umm . . . No . . . That's not what I'm looking for." Wally says, "I think he means what do we call him to his face." Alice, Dilbert and Wally answer in unison, "Leader." The instructor says, "Right! And what do you call someone who can make unpopular decisions again and again?" Someone replies, "A filthy sadist?" Another participant says, "Wait, it might be another trick question." The instructor thinks, "I hate training engineers."
Sunday May 25,
1997
Tags #discouraged, #pointy haired boss, #pep talk, #dead end job, #grinding away, #high blood pressure, #stock options, #doctor kevorkian
Transcript
Asok, Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "Lately I've been feeling discouraged about my job." Alice says, "You should talk to our pointy-haired boss." Wally says, "That'll cheer you up." Asok says, "Maybe you're right. All I need is a little pep talk from our leader." He leaves the room. Alice, Dilbert and Wally laugh. Asok sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You think YOU're discouraged . . ." The Boss continues, "I've been stuck in this dead-end job for years, grinding away, day after day." The Boss continues, "And all I have to show for it is high blood pressure and worthless stock options." Asok looks frightened. Dilbert and Wally stand behind Asok's desk. Dilbert says, "It's so gratifying to watch them grow up." Asok says into the telephone, "I need the number for Doctor Kevorkian."
Saturday October 02,
1999
Tags #do for living, #slavishly obey, #insane commands, #pointy haired baboon, #best catch, #big box
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman each hold a wine glass. The woman says, "So, what do you do for a living?" Dilbert says, "I slavishly obey the insane commands of a pointy-haired baboon." The woman says, "The sad thing is that you're the best catch at this party." Dilbert says, "I work in a big box."