The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress."
Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress."
Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."
Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people."
Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair."
Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"