Politely Tell Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

705 Results for Politely Tell

View 1 - 10 results for politely tell comic strips. Discover the best "Politely Tell" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body language, politely tell, remove watch, smash watch, daily planner, feel good, act bored, self heimlich manuever, kerokian dodge, instructions

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, interviews, biggest mistake, learned from t, old couch, chewing, starbucks, never tell story

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassed of son, Family, food service industry, insult, locksmith, mother, named project manger, paying for lunch, restaurants, sons occupation, don't tell freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, bugs are smater, cubcicle, dumb, permission denied, plastic, plastic plant, tell the difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Id like permission to keep a plastic plant in my crucible, Security guard: Permission denied! Plants attract bugs. If I can't tell its plastic how are the bugs going to know the difference? Dilbert: With all due respect m bugs are way smarter than you. Security: Oh yeah? Id like to see them do this job.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet community, sarcastic suggestion, email campaign, improve image, mass unsolicited, tell people, how nice we are

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags despicable creep, pay for crimes, tell him, feelings, date at 10

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks with a dark haired women. She says, "I never told my last boyfriend what a despicable creep he was." She grabs on to the front of Dilbert's shirt and says, "But you'll pay for his crimes and pay dearly!!" Dilbert looks mad and says, "Why don't you call him and tell him how you feel?" She says, "I have a date with him at ten o'clock tonight."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bounced back into plane, didn't open, false memory, parachute, skydiving, tell story, trampoline, planted by dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology buddha, enlightened, eat a lot, tell people ideas, shoe scrape

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks the Buddha, "How did you become so enlightened?" The Buddha replies, both eyes still closed "I just eat a lot and tell people their ideas stink." The Buddha looks at the paper Dilbert hands him and asks sarcastically, "Whose shoe did you scrape this off of?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, spend it, can't tell budget, whats company strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reducing inventory, sell to cutomers, feel free, tell board, idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."