Pondering On Importance Comic Strips
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16 Results for Pondering On Importance
View 1 - 10 results for pondering on importance comic strips. Discover the best "Pondering On Importance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 29,
1992
Tags #the boss, #unimportant, #requires, #action, #route, #subordinate, #inflating, #perceived, #importance, #destroying, #morale, #productivity, #luck, #copies
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk looking through a stack of documents and thinking, "Here's something else that's totally unimportant yet requires action." The Boss thinks, "I'll route it to a subordinate, thus inflating its perceived importance and destroying both morale and productivity." The Boss thinks, "What luck, I got two copies!"
Thursday October 03,
1996
Tags #document, #job process, #requirements, #anticipate, #shifting political winds, #relevant buzzwords, #achieve, #importance, #adding value, #process design
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table using a laptop. Dilbert tells the man across the table, "I need to document your job processes to satisfy our ISO 9000 requirements." The man replies, "Okay." The man says, "I try to anticipate the shifting political winds. Then I wrap myself in the relevant buzzwords and try to achieve importance without adding value." Dilbert asks, "What's your job title?" The man replies, "Director of ISO 9000 Quality Process Design."
Thursday December 30,
2004
Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant
Transcript
Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"
Monday May 02,
2005
Tags #share cubicle, #outrageous, #fight, #board of directors, #importance of teamwork
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."
Sunday July 18,
2004
Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives
Transcript
The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.
Sunday July 21,
2013
Tags #dating, #frustration, #relations between the sexes, #modern world, #purpose of men, #money, #bad jokes, #faltulence, #useless men, #pondering on importance, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.
Saturday July 12,
2014
Tags #competition (psychology), #embarrassed, #dress the same, #everyday, #reserve of willpower, #fashion decisions, #work, #wrote and app, #importance of routine
Transcript
Tina: Do you ever feel embarrassed that you dress the same way every day? Dilbert: No. Do you ever feel embarrassed that you don't understand the importance of routine in managing your limited reserve of willpower? Tina: I made 75 fashion decisions before breakfast. Dilbert: I wrote an app.
Tuesday December 02,
1997
Tags #analogy police, #boss compared, #mink coat, #importance
Transcript
Asok goes to the Analogy Police. A sign on the door reads, "Open." Phil, ruler of Heck, sits behind a desk. Asok says, "My boss said I was as important as a mink is to a mink coat." Phil says, "That sounds fine to me." Asok says, "But the Mink dies." Phil says, "I guess you won't be leaving a full fifteen precent tip."
Sunday May 14,
1995
Tags #accomplishments, #who gets raises, #lie about achievments, #favoritism, #minimizing accomplishments, #billion dollars, #impossible, #verify, #invisible rust, #gets raise, #three people
Transcript
The Boss tells Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "Write up your accomplishments so I can decide who gets raises this year." Wally asks, "Are you saying our raises will depend on our ability to lie about our achievements?" The Boss replies as he walks away, "No, there's also favoritism." Dilbert says, "And don't forget the importance of minimizing the accomplishments of others." Dilbert sits at his desk and types, "This year I saved a billion dollars in ways which are impossible to verify." Wally types, "While the others plotted against you, I was applying an invisible rust inhibitor to your car." Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I can drop those off for you." Dilbert says, "Thanks." Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you noticed she's the only one who ever gets a raise?" Wally replies, "It's as if she has the accomplishments of three people."
Wednesday May 26,
2010
Tags #control men, #plan, #exaggerate, #overwork, #overextend, #yell, #important, #panic, #coffee
Transcript
Alice says, "I learned to control men by exaggerating the importance of my projects and overextending myself." Alice says, "Our most important customer is coming and I won't be ready on time unless you fetch me some coffee!" Alice says, "In phase two, I make you enjoy it."