Pool Comic Strips

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26 Results for Pool

View 1 - 10 results for pool comic strips. Discover the best "Pool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #promote, #from within, #downside, #smaller pool, #candidates, #competitors, #ruination

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Boss: I like to promote from within. The only downside is that picking from a smaller pool of candidates will make us less capable than our competitors and lead the company to ruination. Do you want that? Dilbert: I see what you're doing.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #wild, #deer, #cloned, #Dogbert, #pool, #money, #ground

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Hi . . . Uh, why am I naked and sitting in a garbage can?" Dogbert replies, "Either you were killed by wild deer and we cloned you back to life from your old garbage . . . Or . . ." Dilbert says, "I hope I like the second choice." Dogbert says, ". . . Or you saved a lot of money on an above-ground pool."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #security system, #pool, #catapult, #invention, #fate

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Dilbert taps on the doorstep with a spade. He tells Dogbert, "My new security system is now installed." Dogbert asks, "How's it work?" Dilbert explains, "I buried a giant spring under the welcome mat to catapult any undesirables into the Wilsey's pool three blocks from here." Dilbert continues, "You just tap that little button on the floor there . . ." The caption says, "Time stands still as Dogbert ponders the gift that fate has given him." Dogbert stares at the launch button while Dilbert stands on the welcome mat. Dogbert reaches for the button and says, "I'm pretty sure the look on his face will be worth whatever minor guilt I feel over this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layoffs, #mobility pool, #run around, #finding job, #internal job, #ax falls, #layoffs dignified, #nonexistent job

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The Boss and Wally sit at a table. The Boss says, "We don't do 'layoffs' at this company. But you HAVE been selected to participate in our mobility pool!" The Boss explains, "As the name implies, you get to scurry around trying to find a nonexistent internal job before the ax falls." Wally asks, "How's this different from a layoff?" The Boss replies, "With layoffs you get to keep your dignity."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't use brain, #already knew, #car pool, #staff meeting, #steak alive

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I didn't use my brain this week." Wally says, "I listened to things I already knew; I waited for people who were late; I was a passenger in my car pool." The Boss says, "Let's start the staff meeting." Wally pumps his fist in the air and says, "Yes!! Keeping the streak alive!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

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Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heart and sould, #high speed data, #talent pool, #in charge, #mentor, #panicking

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Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly product, #sued, #did nothing, #public realtions, #goal, #jury pool, #victims deserved it, #moral implications, #strategy

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"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happy place, #mind, #pool of coffee, #coffe cup, #toilet, #donut, #escape, #meeting escape, #drift

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Wally: "I'll escape the horror of this meeting by taking my mind to a happy place." "Aaah... A pool of warm coffee, what could be better?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #legal liabilities, #revenue, #patents, #public credit, #dig swimming pool, #use spoon

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Negotiations Dilbert: so far we've agreed that my company will take all the expenses and legal liabilities. Dilbert: your company will take all of the revenue, patents and public credit. But where it says I"ll dig you a swimming pool with my bare hands I will not do that. You win! You can use a spoon!