Popular Methods Comic Strips
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27 Results for Popular Methods
View 1 - 10 results for popular methods comic strips. Discover the best "Popular Methods" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 15,
1990
Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich
Transcript
Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.
Sunday May 06,
2012
Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube
Transcript
Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!
Friday January 19,
1996
Tags #software emoire, #net wealth, #twenty billion., #popular opinion, #sunset, #license digital rights
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are taking a walk outside. Dogbert says, "Thanks to my software empire, my net worth is twenty billion dollars." Dogbert sits on a log and says, "Contrary to popular opinion, it does seem to make me happy." Dilbert responds, "Money can't buy a sunset, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No, but I was able to license the digital rights."
Monday December 10,
2001
Tags #innovative design firm, #observe methods, #steal from them, #secret, #hiring smart people, #involves easles
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "We've hired the world's most innovative design firm." The Boss continues, "We'll observe their successful methods and steal them for our own. Heh Heh Heh." Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Maybe their secret is hiring smart people." The Boss responds, "I'm hoping it involves easels."
Saturday October 18,
2003
Tags #tunnel digging, #prototype, #escaped the lab, #perth australia, #combined enity, #cyborg, #popular, #trick with dirt
Transcript
Dilbert: "My tunnel-digging prototype escape the lab and burrowed into a picknicker in Perth, Australia." "The combined entity is a cyborg that has proven to be surprisingly popular at parties." "Ha ha! Do the trick with the dirt!"
Tuesday December 30,
2003
Tags #office relocation, #studied boss, #learned methods, #corner you, #scream about bright light
Transcript
"I am in charge of the office relocation project, also known as O.R.P." "I have never managed anything, but I have studied our boss to learn his methods." "Let's see.. step one, I corner you. Step two, I talk until you scream about seeing a bright light."
Friday April 30,
2004
Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea
Transcript
Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.
Wednesday November 16,
2005
Tags #programmers, #agile programming, #methods, #more work, #fewer people
Transcript
We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."
Thursday April 06,
2006
Tags #asok, #survival methods, #indian institutet of technology, #wounded rodent, #tickle hawk, #find highway
Transcript
I must use the survival methods I learned at the Indian Institute of Technology. "Step one: Pretend to be a wounded rodent." "Now look for the highway and tickle the hawk with its own feather."
Friday January 19,
2007
Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.