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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #plan too much, #bias for action, #posters, #proclaim commitment, #measure once, #cut twice

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The Boss sits at his desk and says, "We plan too much. From now on we'll have a bias for action." The Boss tells Asok and Wally, "I want posters that proclaim our commitment to action. And I want them soon!" The Boss reads a poster, "'Measure once. Cut twice.' I like it." Wally tells Asok, "Told you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1995's comic on:

Tags #profits down, #male sinking, #bold leadership, #inspirational posters, #variety, #relevant nature scenes, #relate to scene, #seagull, #clam

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The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2001's comic on:

Tags #rash of thefts, #acts suspicious, #cut meeting, #posters, #break room, #police, #arrest, #man screams, #legal

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We've had a rash of thefts. Be on the lookout for anyone who acts suspicious." Wally and Dilbert turn and face a coworker who says, "Can we cut this meeting short? The posters in the break room got me all motivated!" Dilbert and Wally watch as the coworker is escorted out of the meeting by the police. He screams, "Then why are they there?!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2010's comic on:

Tags #pension fun, #rat, #dartboard, #garfield posters

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The Boss says, "Studies show that a rat with a dartboard can manage your pension fund as well as experts." Ratbert says, "I invested your entire pension fund in Garfield posters." Ratbert says, "I'm bad at darts."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #hypnotic, #powers, #supreme, #earth, #computer, #satellite

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair and says into a camera, "This is Dogbert . . . You are all under my hypnotic powers . . ." A satellite dish sits on the desk. Dogbert transmits to a satellite orbiting earth, "I am the supreme ruler of earth. You must all carry Dogbert posters and chant 'Dogbert is my king.'" Dogbert concludes, "That is all for now. If I think of anything else important I'll let you know." Ratbert enters holding a sign with Dogbert's picture on it and chanting, ". . . Is my king."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1995's comic on:

Tags #inspirational poster, #animal research, #beautiful scene, #nightly eagle swoop

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1999's comic on:

Tags #customer, #appreciation, #celebration, #thanks goodness, #idiots, #joke

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Alice stands behind Asok who work at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, you've been chosen to head our customer appreciation celebration." Alice says, "The theme is "Thank Goodness there are so many idiots." Dilbert, Wally and Alice eat lunch. Dilbert says, "When do you plan to tell him it's a joke?" Alice says, "Let's see how the posters turn out."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2004's comic on:

Tags #job application, #increase workload, #performance becomes average, #excel

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Job Applicant "How do you reward your top performers?" "I keep increasing their work loads until their performances become average." "So, why would anyone try to excel?" "I use only the finest motivational posters."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2004's comic on:

Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives

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The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.