Potential Customers Comic Strips

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205 Results for Potential Customers

View 1 - 10 results for potential customers comic strips. Discover the best "Potential Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #potential customers, #regular vendor, #worked, #detailed quote

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Wally: I worked every night for a month to come up with a detailed quote for one of our potential customers. Then those weasels used our quote to get a better price from their regular vendor! Dilbert: Did you really do all of that work? Wally: No, but it nets out the same.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2005's comic on:

Tags #dance club, #allow anyone, #screen potential customers, #dance moves, #incorporated air guitar

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I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

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Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #apathy, #telephones, #get tech support, #audio menu, #tech support, #user manuals, #hate customers, #apathy thing

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Dogbert: I researched how long your customers will stay on the phone trying to get tech support before giving up. Then I designed an audio menu tree that will take them slightly longer than that to reach your tech support. I've seen your user manuals and I assume that you hate your customers' guts. Boss: It's more of an apathy thing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance

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Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation

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Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2012's comic on:

Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with

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Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2012's comic on:

Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube

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Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dolls, #dummy, #treat customers, #metaphor, #stunned, #employees shicked, #boss demonstrates

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Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #sod, #wilson, #flogging, #dead, #hourses, #internal, #bureaucracy, #gouge, #customers, #attitude, #bad

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The Boss: It's going to be another year of flogging dead horses. But somehow we'll muddle through our internal bureaucracy, gouge our customers, and keep getting our tiny paychecks. Dilbert: Sir, Wilson turned into a clump of uninspired sod. The Boss: It's just as well; he had a bad attitude.