Potential Fire Place Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

401 Results for Potential Fire Place

View 1 - 10 results for potential fire place comic strips. Discover the best "Potential Fire Place" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #backs up, #fake news, #lake view, #potential fire place, #rains, #real estate charlatan, #seasonal skylight, #sweras, #turning bad into good, #well written

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #away from home more, #career advice, #good advice, #hearing it, #hideous commute, #longer hours, #no growth potential, #self loathing, #unhappiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice." Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?" Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?" Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness." Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach." Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more." Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way." Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #stealing, #credit, #potential, #chart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #pessimism, #approve goal, #apathy, #plan to fire, #unimportant projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Did you approve my goals for next year? Boss: Yeah, whatever. Ted: Gaaa! Your apathy about my goals can only mean you to fire me within the next year! Catbert: Ha ha! Now give him unimportant projects. Boss: They all seem that way to me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #unemployed, #job performance, #fire someone, #cubicle, #fired, #wake up call, #greatness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #poodle, #nightfall, #pound, #incarceration, #dream sequence, #dangerous, #place

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."