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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2002's comic on:

Tags #computer viruses, #power cord, #spinal adjustment, #skeptical, #anecdotal evidence

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A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2014's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #space flight, #elon musk, #space hsips, #electric cars, #electric rocket, #robots, #colonize, #planet, #power cord

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CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #hunter gather roots, #office equipment, #ouge, #power cords, #rummages through trah, #trash into gold, #upgarde

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Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1995's comic on:

Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

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An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

Speaking Truth To Power

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Speaking Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2018's comic on:

Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power

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Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fake press relases, #new green technology, #scientist, #2040 power home, #refrigerator door, #science

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Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

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Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #language, #positive feel, #power cables, #insulated

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Boss: Avoid saying "unfortunately" when you talk to customers. Say instead, "as it turns out." That has a more positive feel. Dilbert: As it turns out, our power cables aren't as insulated as we had hoped.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror

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Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1989's comic on:

Tags #confidence, #dog, #power, #surprise, #feelings, #bad dog, #animals

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a newspaper advertisement and says, "Imagine my surprise when I saw this ad for Doctor Dilbert's seminar on developing self-confidence. Okay, what's the scam?" Dogbert explains, "I figured this would be a good way to find a bunch of meek people to do my bidding. If they refuse, I'll yell at them and hurt their little feelings." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll leverage that power into vast wealth or maybe world domination." Dilbert says, "No! Bad doggy!"