Powerful Comic Strips
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19 Results for Powerful
View 1 - 10 results for powerful comic strips. Discover the best "Powerful" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 14,
2011
Tags #death & dying, #estate plan, #inherit stuff, #option, #powerful incentive, #saving & investment, #wills, #money
Transcript
Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.
Tuesday July 08,
1997
Tags #broke herd, #dancer, #do your stuff, #flirting, #powerful, #woman, #chick magnet
Transcript
Dilbert, wearing a jogging suit, sits in the grass. He says to Dogbert, "If you're such a chick magnet, let's see you do your stuff." Dogbert says, "Okay. I'll wag. They love that." Dilbert says, "It's working! You broke one out of the herd. She'd coming this way." Dogbert says, "Be careful. I don't know how powerful this is." Dilbert grumbles. A cute girl sits next to Dogbert and says, "I'll bet you work out a lot. I'm a dancer." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."
Wednesday April 01,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr directorm not enjoying job, #powerful anti depressant, #prescribe drugs, #illegal
Transcript
Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Alice says to Catbert, "I'm not enjoying my job." Catbert hands Alice a bottle of pills and says, "Take this powerful anti- depressant drug for the rest of your life." Alice responds, "I didn't know H.R. could prescribe drugs." Catbert says, "I'd hate to live in a world where that was illegal." Alice reads the bottle aloud, "Boss-proof cap."
Sunday February 11,
1996
Tags #simple molecules, #powerful chemicals, #simple cells, #powerful life forms, #powerful comouters, #less capable components, #supreme being, #future, #god consciousness, #files, #web browser, #fly
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals . . ." Dogbert continues, "Simple cells combine to make powerful lifeforms." Dogbert continues, "Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers." Dogbert continues, "Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert continues, "Therefore, a supreme being must be our FUTURE, not our origin!" Dogbert says, "What if 'God' is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!" Dilbert says, "That would certainly limit the types of files I download. I wonder what it would do to response times." Dogbert says, "It's so nice to spend time alone with my thoughts." Dilbert says, "My web browser would FLY!"
Sunday November 17,
1996
Tags #cubville, #powerful leader, #solution unique, #brilliance, #contribution, #much better idea
Transcript
The Boss enters a row of cubicles and thinks, "The powerful leader enters Cubeville to inspire the wretched underlings." The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and thinks, "He spots one of the little people in desperate need of a morale boost." The Boss thinks, "The leader carefully assesses the situation. Every solution is unique." The Boss says, "Try identifying the problem and then solving it." The Boss thinks, "The leader waits while the brilliance of his contribution sinks in." Dilbert says, "That's a much better idea than what I was doing." Dilbert continues sarcastically, "I've been sitting here all day randomly pressing keys, but you've shown me a better way!" The Boss thinks, "Suddenly the leader remembers why he rarely visits Cubeville." Dilbert says, "My morale is soaring."
Monday February 01,
1999
Tags #reserve conference room, #laugh at request, #powerful, #secretaries, #laugh
Transcript
Asok says, to Carol, "Carol, I'd like to reserve teh conferance room." Carol says, "Ha ha ha ha! I laugh at your request without even explaining why." Asok is in his cubicle. Asok thinks, "Someday I will be so powerful that secretaries will HAVE to explain why they laugh at me."
Tuesday May 23,
2000
Tags #ad campiagn, #festured, #new ceo, #powerful woman, #indutry, #than lines
Transcript
Dogbert sits next to the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "My consultant thinks you should be featured in our ad campaign." An attractive woman sits behind a large desk and says, "Is that because I'm the new CEO and the most powerful woman in our industry?" The Boss answers, "Umm...yes. That's why." Dogbert turns and says, "Remember to ask about tan lines."
Sunday June 16,
2002
Tags #the master, #overworked, #carefree, #powerful secret, #volunteer, #many tasks, #complaints later, #gandhi that eats, #dont recall, #agree
Transcript
Wally is asleep in his cubicle. Asok enters and says, "Wally, I need advice from the master." Wally wakes up and says, "Huh?" Asok says, "How do you remain so carefree while everyone else seems so overworked?" Wally replies, "Asok, you are ready to learn my most powerful secret." Wally continues, "Always volunteer to do lots of tasks. That will make you appear very busy." Wally continues, "Later, when someone complains that you didn't do a task..." Wally continues, "Say you remember discussing the topic but you don't recall agreeing to do anything." Wally continues, "Offer a glimmer of hope that you might yet do the task if no one yells at you... Then repeat." Asok replies, "Wow." Asok walks away and thinks, "He's like a Gandhi that eats."
Friday January 21,
2011
Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)
Transcript
The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"
Wednesday November 15,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #affirmations, #garden, #slug, #writing, #salt
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert continues his reckless experiment with the powerful force of 'affirmations.'" Dilbert watches Dogbert write on a piece of paper and asks, ". . . What if this actually works?" Dilbert asks, "Can you really cause me to be eaten by a garden slug just by writing it down over and over?" Dilbert continues, "What am I saying? Logically, there's no way this could work." Dogbert says, "Don't get too far from salt."