Practically Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for practically comic strips. Discover the best "Practically" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a doctor." Dogbert continues, "People have to suck up to doctors, otherwise they stick big needles into your body for practically no reason at all." Dogbert continues, "A lot of careers don't offer that kind of opportunity." Dilbert replies, "Yeah, it's not the same with a stapler."
Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a short story for people who don't have much patience." Ratbert reads, "Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera." Ratbert says, "If it's a commercial success, the sequel practically writes itself."
Dilbert's Mom pours a cup of coffee. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. Dilbert says, "At least I can count on my mom to love me, despite my horn." Dilbert's Mom says, "Yes, of course, albeit not as much as before." Dilbert says, "How much less?" Dilbert's mom says, "Don't worry my love of unicorns practically covers the gap."
The boss says, "I'm sending you on a trip. Remember that our per diem isn't as extravagant as it was in our golden years." The boss says, "You'll need to use the hotel iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches." Dilbert says, "Will you pay for the bread and cheese?" The boss says, "We'll pay for the bread. But the cheese and free soap are practically the same thing."
"Welcome to Dogbert's accelerated sales training course." "Today you will learn how a person can simultaneously drink and golf." "What will we learn tomorrow?" "Tomorrow? What part of 'accelerated' is confusing you?" "As you know, the hard part about drinking and golfing is that they both require your hands." "That's why I invented the sportsman's beer muzzle." "Give this to your client and the sale will practically make itself." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "This ish the besht day of my life!" "I'll put you down for ten pallets of mouse pads."
Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"
Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?
dilbert: sorry, i no longer shake hands. i can practically see the viral load on that filthy paw of yours. office worker: you can't "see" a virus. virus sound coming from hand: hee-hee! that's how we getcha.