Practiced Comic Strips
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8 Results for Practiced
View 1 - 8 results for practiced comic strips. Discover the best "Practiced" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #practiced, #Religion, #attained, #fulfillment, #soul, #creature, #andy the android
Transcript
Andy says to Dogbert, "I have practiced religion for one day and not attained fulfillment." Dogbert responds, "That's because you're an android. You have no soul." Andy asks, "No soul?" Andy asks, "What is a little creature with no soul supposed to do?" Dilbert responds, "Well, Sonny Bono married Cher . . ."
Sunday May 27,
2001
Tags #recommend vendor, #internal debvelopers, #play out, #outside vendor, #clueless weasel, #begin work, #sign contract, #internal weasels complain, #use, #steaming mounds, #worthless code, #plan too much, #practiced yesterday
Transcript
Dilbert stands before the Boss giving a presentation. Dilbert says, "...And that's why I recommend using this vendor." The Boss asks, "Why don't we use our internal developers?" Dilbert replies, "Let me explain how this will play out." Dilbert begins drawing a diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step One: We select an outside vendor because our internal developers are clueless weasels." Dilbert continues, "Step Two: We sign a contract and begin work." Dilbert says, "Step Three: Our internal weasels complain to our VP and she order us to use them." Dilbert continues drawing a complex diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step Four: The outside vendor sues us while our weasels grunt out steaming mounds of worthless code." Dilbert returns home to Dogbert. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do I plan too much?" Dogbert says, "Is this the conversation we practiced yesterday?"
Tuesday June 24,
2014
Tags #interviews, #job interview, #spare time, #questions, #visit orphanges, #back rubs, #babies, #practiced question
Transcript
JOB INTERVIEW Boss: So... what do you like to do in your spare time? Interviewee: Um... I visit orphanages and give back rubs to babies. Boss: Maybe you should have practiced for that question. Interviewee: And I bike there because I'm so green.
Friday February 03,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror
Transcript
Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.
Friday September 07,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #pharaohs, #scientifically, #produce, #deep, #relaxation, #bandages, #pyramid
Transcript
Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several people wearing only towels. Dogbert says, "You are now ready for the next step in my 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' therapy." Dogbert continues, "This next therapy was practiced by the pharaohs . . . It has been scientifically proven to produce deep relaxation." Dogbert continues, "Please pick up a roll of bandages and line up in front of the pyramid door . . ."
Wednesday January 01,
2003
Tags #selective breeding, #produce offspring, #no biometric impression, #no pulse, #no fingerprints, #no dna
Transcript
Wally says, "For thousands of generations the males in my family practiced selective breeding." Wally continues, "The goal was to produce offspring that leave no biometric impression: no pulse, no fingerprints, no DNA." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Wally responds, "We like to ask, 'Why not?'"
Saturday November 03,
2012
Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility
Transcript
Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.
Wednesday June 25,
2008
Tags #lying, #practice, #productive, #professional, #vacation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm in charge while our pointy-haired boss is on vacation." Dilbert says, "I expect each of you to be professional and productive during this time." Wally says, "Nice lying." Dilbert says, "I practiced in front of a mirror."