Precious Earth Comic Strips
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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "This job has taken my dignity, my self-esteem, my creativity and my precious time on this earth." The man continues, "You've taken all I have! There's nothing left to give!!!" The Boss says, "The blood drive is next week. This year it's mandatory . . . And a three-pint minimum."
Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75
Dilbert: Rocket boosters will move an asteroid into the moon's orbit so we can mine its precious metals. Boss: Why don't we mine for precious metals in Afghanistan? They have lots of them. Dilbert: That only happens in science fiction.
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"
Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."
Dogbert sits at a desk looking at a flattened globe. Dilbert asks, "You joined the 'Flat Earth Society?'" Dogbert replies, "I believe the earth MUST be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called 'round earth theory.'" Dilbert says, "I think Christopher Columbus would disagree." Dogbert says, "How convenient that your best witness is long dead."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round." Dilbert says, "Look . . ." Dilbert continues, "You can ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut." Dogbert says, "So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . . No, wait . . ."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."
Bob the Dinosaur says, "Dogbert, we've come to resign from your cult." Dawn says, "You can't push us around anymore." Dogbert is wearing a crown. Dogbert replies, "Resign?!! Ha! You're unworthy! I kick you out. The cult doesn't need your type!" Bob begs, "Nooo!! Take us back!!! Please!!!" Dogbert says, "I think this explains why dinosaurs don't rule the earth."
Dilbert: Please, mother nature, don't make me leave the earth!! Mother Nature: Don't talk back to me!! I work hard to give you a lovely planet, and look what you do to it! Dilbert: But... But I recycle newspapers! Mother Nature: Oh, well, excuse me. I guess the dolphins are safe, thanks to you. Dilbert: And I've noticed less acid rain since I started.