Pretending Tow Ork Comic Strips
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48 Results for Pretending Tow Ork
View 1 - 10 results for pretending tow ork comic strips. Discover the best "Pretending Tow Ork" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 03,
2007
Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things
Transcript
CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."
Monday October 28,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #like about work, #making popcorn, #microwave, #pretend tow ork, #body language, #popcorn priviledges
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk. Catbert says, "Hey, Wally, is there anything you still like about working here?" Wally replies, "Um . . . I like making popcorn in the microwave and eating it while I pretend to work." Wally says, "Your body language tells me that something evil is going to happen to my popcorn privileges." Catbert sits on the monitor and thinks, "I love my job."
Tuesday April 13,
2021
Pretending To Listen
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #laptop, #pretending, #listening, #camera, #look, #zoom, #anger, #video call, #boss, #easy, #golden age
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: some of you are only pretending to be paying attention to this zoom call. boss yelling: you're still doing it! stop it! look into the camera!!! dilbert at home. dilbert: pretending to listen to your boss has never been easier. dogbert: golden age!
Saturday November 12,
2011
Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole
Transcript
Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.
Tuesday February 06,
1990
Tags #dinosaur, #Dogbert, #pretending, #extinct, #comeback, #elvis', #jumpsuits
Transcript
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs confront Dogbert. Bob says, "Dogbert, we can't stand hiding around the house anymore." Bob looks out the window and says, "We dinosaurs ruled this planet once. Now we just hide in people's houses, pretending to be extinct." Bob takes Dawn's hands and says, "Dawn, it's time for our comeback tour." Dogbert says, "I think some of Elvis's jumpsuits will fit."
Sunday May 15,
1994
Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello
Transcript
"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."
Friday September 10,
1999
Tags #prospective client, #touring dept, #marketing department, #vacant cubicle, #pretending to work
Transcript
The boss stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "A prospective client will be touring our marketing department in an hour." The boss says, "We need you to sit in a vacant cubicle so it looks as if work is done there." Dilbert sits in an empty cubicle pretending to type. a woman points and says, "Hey! that one is only pretending to work!"
Friday August 05,
2005
Tags #accomplishments, #iso 9000, #sei policies, #new policy, #comply, #head spin, #imagination, #pretending to work
Transcript
Wally: "My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"
Friday December 12,
2008
Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business
Transcript
The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.
Saturday September 29,
2007
Tags #pretending, #loyal, #try to appear, #more loyal, #couldn't be more
Transcript
CatBert: "Wally, your choice of words leads us to think you are only pretending to be loyal to the company." wally: "Sorry. I'll try to appear more loyal in the future." CAtbert: "You did it again." Wally: "Don't be silly. I couldn't be more loyal."