Private Comic Strips
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37 Results for Private
View 1 - 10 results for private comic strips. Discover the best "Private" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 12,
2020
Selling Private Data
Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend
Transcript
dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.
Wednesday June 27,
2012
Tags #hope for survival, #nearsighted billionaire, #hunt, #private island, #foraging situation
Transcript
Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: Your only hope for survival is if a nearsighted billionaire offers to hunt you on his private island. Customer: Does that job pay well? Dogbert: It's more of a foraging situation. Customer: Must... adjust... expectations... down.
Monday January 13,
1992
Tags #celebrities, #Dilbert, #prison, #Dogbert, #private, #jail, #business, #dump, #mentioned, #sooner
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to go into the private jail business." Dogbert continues, "I figure it's a good way to meet celebrities." Dilbert asks, "Where's it going to be?" A man carrying a briefcase enters and says, "You call this dump a prison?" Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I probably should have mentioned this sooner."
Saturday August 30,
1997
Tags #dogebert, #systems adminitrator, #evil system, #private, #compiled binder, #off color humor, #unkind references, #naughty propositions, #heading, #sing
Transcript
Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."
Wednesday June 05,
2002
Tags #vacant private offcie, #last one, #ill-will, #coworkers, #diltopia, #take off shoes, #reverence
Transcript
Dilbert is carrying a box. He says to Alice, "I'm moving into a vacant private office. I got the last one." Dilbert continues, "I hope this doesn't cause ill-will in the cubicle-bound co- workers I'm leaving behind." Alice furrows her brow. Dilbert continues, "All I ask is that when you enter Diltopia, you bow in reverence and take off your shoes." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.
Friday June 07,
2002
Tags #earned, #enginner, #life isn't fair, #moving up, #office space, #private offcie, #Promotion, #complaints
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."
Friday December 02,
2005
Tags #hammerhead bob, #start butting into private lives, #sense annoyance
Transcript
"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."
Wednesday March 13,
2013
Tags #app development, #forced labor camp, #frustration, #private offuce, #work ethic
Transcript
Dilbert: The North Elbonians accused me of being a spy and put me in a forced labor camp. It sounds worse than it was. I had a private office and all I did was app development. Boss: How did you escape? Dilbert: I didn't. I took a personal day to tell you how much you suck.
Monday April 14,
2008
Tags #cell phone, #complaints, #private office, #threat, #technology
Transcript
Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.
Wednesday July 28,
2010
Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"