Product Code Comic Strips
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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!
The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."
Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
dilbert talking to dilbert: well, i knew this would happen sooner or later. you're an example of code reuse, which proves this reality is a software simulation. dilbert: technically, that's not a "proof." dilbert: hello, me!
Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological, #psychology
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.