Productive Work Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Productive Work
View 1 - 10 results for productive work comic strips. Discover the best "Productive Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 28,
1994
Tags #gerard depardieu, #ceo, #productive work, #overhead transparencies, #exaggerate value, #uglier coworkers, #actors
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Monday December 23,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"
Wednesday June 28,
2017
Two Choices For Work Space
Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?
Sunday August 14,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?
Friday January 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #meetings, #work, #friday, #brain, #dead, #productive, #late
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss and two people sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I don't know why we even bother holding meetings on Friday afternoons . . ." Dilbert continues, "I mean, everybody is brain-dead by now. Is this really productive?" A woman reads a document and says, "Hmm . . . Productive? . . . Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm too late."
Monday April 10,
2006
Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice
Transcript
"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."
Sunday December 02,
2012
Tags #cublicle, #hours worked, #judgement, #long term projects, #near term deliverables, #negotiate, #output, #work ethic, #work from home, #holy grail
Transcript
Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.
Monday November 10,
2014
Work Harder Than The Competition
Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.