Programming Code Comic Strips
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165 Results for Programming Code
View 1 - 10 results for programming code comic strips. Discover the best "Programming Code" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 10,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #fired, #programming code, #undocumented, #passwords, #death spiral, #huge raise
Transcript
Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.
Saturday January 11,
2003
Tags #extreme programming., #code writing, #team, #tw programmers, #one computer, #productive arrangement, #whistle both nostrils, #saved on harmonicas, #business
Transcript
Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."
Monday November 26,
2007
Tags #agile programming, #cpmplain, #training, #write code, #no more planning, #no more documentation, #just start writing
Transcript
The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."
Thursday December 03,
2015
Robot Learns To Code
Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent
Transcript
Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.
Thursday September 25,
2003
Tags #outsourcing, #elbonia, #time difference, #hand off requirements, #work day, #finish code, #pretend we died
Transcript
The Boss: "We're outsourcing half of our programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference." The Boos: "We'll hand off our requirements at the end of our work day and get back the finished code the next morning." Elboninas: "Once again, I have no idea what they want." "Let's pretend we died."
Friday October 30,
2020
Code Reuse
Tags #business, #code, #reality, #reuse, #simulation, #software, #technology
Transcript
dilbert talking to dilbert: well, i knew this would happen sooner or later. you're an example of code reuse, which proves this reality is a software simulation. dilbert: technically, that's not a "proof." dilbert: hello, me!
Thursday April 28,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Friday April 29,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce
Transcript
Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.
Tuesday February 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #robots, #requires, #vast, #strength, #protect, #harm, #humans, #robot, #code
Transcript
Dilbert says to a robot, "Remember, the 'Robot's Code' requires you to use your vast strength to serve, protect, and never harm humans." The robot says, "Ha! I didn't sign any 'Robot's Code.' In fact, with my vast strength I can make YOU serve ME!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I forgot to program in the 'Robot's Code.'" The robot reaches toward Dilbert's head and says, "Maybe I'll crush your head just for fun!"
Tuesday September 08,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #programming, #sissy, #icons, #zeros, #sometimes, #entire, #database, #program, #letter
Transcript
An older man, Dilbert and Wally sit at the lunch table. The man says, "When I started programming, we didn't have any of these sissy 'icons' and 'windows.'" The man continues, "All we had were zeros and ones - and sometimes we didn't even have ones." The man continues, "I wrote an entire database program using only zeros." Dilbert asks, "You had zeros? We had to use the letter 'O.'"