Project Failed Comic Strips

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671 Results for Project Failed

View 1 - 10 results for project failed comic strips. Discover the best "Project Failed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2007's comic on:


Tags #in charge, #assignment, #budget, #approve expenses, #report, #project plan, #take blame, #project failed

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The Boss: You'll be in charge of this project. Dilbert: What's my budget?" The Boss: I'll need to approve all expenses. Dilbert: Who will report to me? The Boss: Your team will report to me and I'll tell them what to do. Dilbert: I'll start on the project plan. The Boss: Um... Skip that part. I already have a plan in my head. Dilbert: Hypothetically, who would take the blame if this project failed? Well, you're in charge...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Women Communicate Better

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Women Communicate Better - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #listening, #talking, #conversation, #communication, #roles

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Alice: your project failed because there were no women on the team. Women have better communication skills. Every study shows that. Are you listening? Dilbert: Outwardly, yes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #blame, #deadlines, #originality, #partnership, #project milestones, #toxic moron, #incapable, #original thought, #same

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Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.

What Phase Of The Project

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What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning

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Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

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Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

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Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Post Mortem

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Post Mortem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #project, #idiots

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the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week

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Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #critics, #idea tried, #failed misarably, #skilled at implementing, #evaluating, #insulting

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Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"