Promised Parts Comic Strips
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74 Results for Promised Parts
View 1 - 10 results for promised parts comic strips. Discover the best "Promised Parts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 18,
2005
Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy
Transcript
Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.
Friday March 06,
2015
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It
Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts
Transcript
CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)
Friday June 09,
2017
Scavenging For Parts
Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.
Monday December 04,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plastic surgery, #elephant man, #ivory, #spare parts
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert leans against his feet. Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Says here that Michael Jackson is considering even more plastic surgery." Dogbert says, "That explains why he wanted to buy the remains of the 'Elephant Man.'" Dilbert asks, "For spare parts?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it wasn't for the ivory."
Friday December 14,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #transmitter, #television, #parts, #broadband, #multiplexer, #tuna, #cans, #space, #sock, #vaseline
Transcript
Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah, I once built an FM transmitter from old television parts . . ." Another man says, "That's nothing . . . I built a broadband multiplexer from tuna cans and a lamp." Dilbert says, ". . . My first orbiting space station was made entirely from old socks and Vaseline." Dilbert thinks, "I hate going last."
Friday January 11,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #television, #body parts, #news, #sandwhich, #strewn, #miles
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a chair watching tv and eating a sandwich. A voice on the television says, ". . . And in the news . . ." The newscaster continues, ". . . Body parts were strewn for miles . . ." The newscaster continues, "So check your sandwich." Dilbert looks shocked.
Thursday March 17,
1994
Tags #constant reorgnizing, #needs of employees, #spare parts, #liver, #jose in accounting
Transcript
Dilbert: "These constant reorganizations do not take into consideration the needs of the employees." The Boss: "I've decided to use you for spare parts. Your liver will be sent to Jose in accounting, immediately." Dilbert: "Jose has a bad liver?" The boss: "No, but why take a chance?"
Wednesday November 30,
1994
Tags #dogberts tech support, #dierctions, #arrange parts, #piles, #stand on chair, #above cubicle wall, #shout to coworkers, #read manual
Transcript
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
Wednesday December 21,
1994
Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."
Wednesday July 10,
1996
Tags #engineer up, #management support, #meeting, #boss ego, #master at work, #promised customer, #full management support, #sales meeting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"