Promising Career Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for promising career comic strips. Discover the best "Promising Career" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #success, #who you know, #know losers, #promising career, #holding me back

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Wally: Success depends on who you know. I only know losers such as you, so thanks for nothing. Dilbert; I'm sorry I ruined your promising career. Wally: You're holding me back.

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Thwarting Alice's Career

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Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

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alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #financial model, #complicated, #formula errors, #management, #figures support, #schemes for career development, #life is ridiculous

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Man: My financial model in Excel is so complicated that I assume it's riddled with formula errors. But that's okay because management only uses the results when the figures support their schemes for career advancement. Uh-oh. I just realized that my life is ridiculous. Boss: Do you have hand-outs?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation

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Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #office workers, #encouragement, #career plans, #misjudge, #5 year plan, #legacy sytems, #retirement, #projects, #protect heart, #plenty of naps, #quality of work, #pension fund, #new career plan

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Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ambush, #victim, #fantasized, #marrying, #rich, #guy, #ditching, #career, #yarn, #sticking, #briefcase, #woman

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Dogbert walks down the sidewalk holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "Dogbert the Ambush Reporter looks for another victim." Dogbert approaches a woman carrying a briefcase and asks, "Is it true you have often fantasized about marrying a rich guy and ditching your career?" The woman covers her face with her hands and cries, "Yes!!! Yes!!! And I . . . I . . . Secretly learned to COOK!!" Dogbert asks, "Is that YARN sticking out of your briefcase?!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #supervisor, #career, #path, #secetary, #years, #doctor, #expect, #hard work

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Dilbert says to a man at a desk, "As your new supervisor, I want to discuss your career path." Dilbert asks, "You're a secretary now, but what do you want to be in two years?" The man replies, "A famous actor . . . Or maybe a doctor." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I don't think I can help you here . . ." The man replies, "Oh, right, but you'll expect me to work hard for you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #spa, #water, #chowder, #bath, #therapy, #spirit, #jackie mason, #career

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Dogbert says to several people wearing only towels, "Thank you all for coming to Dogbert's 'New Age Mineral Water Spa.'" Dogbert continues, "After your chowder bath therapy, I will be channeling the spirit of Jackie Mason in ballroom 'B.'" Dilbert says, "He's not dead." Dogbert replies, "Then I'll talk to his career."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #aspiring, #gas, #station, #transferred, #career, #congress, #fotomat

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Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Welcome to Dogbert's School for aspiring Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." Dogbert continues, "I will teach you how to sit in a little building and do nothing." Dogbert continues, "These same skills can be transferred to a career in Congress or Fotomat." A student says, "Really? Fotomat?!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #genius, #iqs, #Dilbert, #network, #enhance, #career, #mensa, #expo

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "You joined what?" Dilbert replies, "Mensa. It's a group of people with genius IQs." Dilbert continues, "I'm hoping it will be a good way to network and enhance my career." The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I heard you joined our Mensa group . . . I hope you can make it to the career expo."