Promoting Comic Strips
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17 Results for Promoting
View 1 - 10 results for promoting comic strips. Discover the best "Promoting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 15,
2001
Tags #billion shares, #dot com subsidary, #fire everyone, #presdient, #raise, #stock, #promoting
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday April 08,
2002
Tags #good news, #promoting work, #pay and title, #Promotion, #scaring me
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Good news, Dilbert. I'm promoting you to more work!" The Boss continues, "It's the same pay and title. But it must be good because I called it a promotion and I'm smiling!" The Boss forces a severe smile and says, "Still..smiling..good...news..." Dilbert responds, "You're scaring me."
Thursday August 16,
1990
Tags #bradley, #Dilbert, #valid, #analyst, #witch, #finances, #accounting, #budget report
Transcript
Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Saturday January 21,
1995
Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."
Sunday May 29,
1994
Tags #Promotion, #director, #engineering group, #assignment, #fire them all, #eliminate, #passing off, #dirty work, #promotion for nothing
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, I'm promoting you to Director of the Engineering Quality Group!" Wally: "Yes!" "Wait a minute. I thought you were going to eliminate that group." The Boss: "Your assignment is to fire them all." Wally: "Aaagh! That will be hideous!" "And when I'm done you won't need a director. Then you'll fire me!" The Boss: "You have my word that I will not fire you." Dilbert: "Hi, guys." The Boss: "That would be a job for Executive Director Dilbert."
Sunday December 05,
1999
Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one
Transcript
The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."
Tuesday February 01,
2005
Tags #furry log, #nick name, #cute names, #creating hostile environment, #squirrel infested stump
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, did you call the director of human resources a "furry log"?" Alice: "Yes" The Boss: "I can't tell if you're promoting teamwork with a cute nickname or creating a hostile environment." "Which is it?" Alice: "It's teamwork, you squirrel-infested stump."
Saturday December 31,
2005
Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad
Transcript
"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."
Friday July 20,
2007
Tags #senior engineer, #lead engineer, #pay is same, #disrespect you, #magic
Transcript
The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."
Friday July 18,
2008
Tags #moral compass damaged, #vice president, #miserable and helpless, #actual job
Transcript
A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."