Property Comic Strips
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14 Results for Property
View 1 - 10 results for property comic strips. Discover the best "Property" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 06,
1995
Tags #retiring, #media, #vast weath, #property, #agree to be puppet, #kermit, #muppet, #lease, #Entertainment
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch reading with one knee bent. Dogbert stands on the cushion next to him. Dogbert says, "I'm retiring from my media empire and putting my vast wealth into real estate." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to buy all the property on earth and evict everybody who doesn't agree to be my puppet." Dilbert asks, "Can I be Kermit?" Dogbert hands Dilbert a document and says, "That's a 'Muppet.' It's all spelled out in your lease."
Thursday April 22,
2004
Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool
Transcript
The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Friday February 16,
1996
Tags #expect, #new employment agreement, #first born, #dna, #derivative works
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "I can't believe they expect us to sign these new employment agreement forms." Wally says, "According to this, anything we even THINK of becomes the Company's property. I'm surprised they don't claim our first born sons!" Wally continues, "What do you suppose it means when they copyright our 'DNA and all derivative works?'" Alice says, "They'd make an exception for you."
Saturday May 07,
2005
Tags #attorney, #contact, #cubicle opened, #dividing up workspace, #eyebrows, #my client, #prove, #naked, #got him for everything, #legal
Transcript
"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"
Thursday August 16,
2012
Tags #announcement, #economic value, #engineers, #google, #mergers & acquisitions, #modern day, #podium, #public speaking, #slave trader
Transcript
CEO: Google has offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. I agreed to the deal because I'm a modern day slave trader who believes engineers are property and the rest of you have no economic value. Who wrote my speech? Employee: Someone with no economic value.
Thursday September 16,
2010
Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology
Transcript
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."
Saturday January 24,
2009
Tags #walking, #park, #copyright, #ownership, #humor, #Sports
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I lost an intellectual property case with my ex-employer. Now they own my name." Dilbert says, "It costs my five dollars every time I introduce myself." woman says, "I already forgot your name. What was it?" Dilbert says, "Can I tell you next month? I'm on a budget?" woman says, "Sure, if you think you can find me."
Sunday October 17,
2010
Tags #elbonia, #bribe, #monkey god, #oobanoobah, #minister of mud, #steal, #office
Transcript
The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"
Tuesday May 02,
2017
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone
Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology
Transcript
Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.