Proposed Work Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Proposed Work
View 1 - 10 results for proposed work comic strips. Discover the best "Proposed Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 26,
1995
Tags #proposed work, #plan, #stress test, #product, #network conditions, #accomplish, #downloading, #large image files, #servers, #on net, #naughty pictures
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My proposed work plan for the year is to stress-test our product under severe network conditions." Wally continues, "I will accomplish this by downloading large image files from the busiest servers on the net." As Wally and Dilbert walk away from the meeting, Wally comments, "I was THIS close to making it my job to download naughty pictures." Dilbert says, "It's just as well; I would have had to kill you."
Monday November 10,
2014
Work Harder Than The Competition
Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Thursday July 09,
2015
Hard Work Is Necessary For Success
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #misunderstanding, #motivation, #hard work, #Advice, #brainwash
Transcript
Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags #work, #existence, #happiness, #fulfillment, #frustration, #job, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Wednesday June 08,
2016
Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife
Tags #work, #wife, #wives, #adultery, #cheating, #criticism, #nagging, #anger, #marriage, #roles, #relationships
Transcript
Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!
Friday June 10,
2016
Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife
Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.
Saturday July 16,
2016
How Conversations Work
Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #distraction, #phone, #social, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.
Tuesday September 13,
2016
Permission To Work Smarter
Tags #sayings, #motivation, #Advice, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do I have your permission to work smarter and not harder? Boss: Um... sure. That sounds like a good thing to do. But how would I know you were working? Wally: I don't even know if I'm working right now.