Proprietary Comic Strips
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11 Results for Proprietary
View 1 - 10 results for proprietary comic strips. Discover the best "Proprietary" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 21,
2012
Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble
Transcript
Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.
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Wednesday January 27,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #working, #days, #secret, #project, #confidential, #proprietary, #important, #sounds
Transcript
Dilbert says to a man, "Hi, Tim. What are you working on these days?" Tim replies, "A secret project." Tim continues, "Very, very secret. Confidential and proprietary. Real hush-hush." Dilbert says, "It sounds important." Tim points a gun at Dilbert and says, "Just move along."
Tuesday February 06,
1996
Tags #proprietary documents, #cubicle, #competitors, #utilize synergy
Transcript
The Boss stands in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've got to lock up these proprietary documents you have in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "If our competitors see our plans, it could be very dangerous." Alice asks, "For us or for them?" The captions reads, "The Competitors." A man reads a document and says, "Ooh! Look! They're planning to 'utilize synergy.' We're in trouble now!" Another man laughs and a woman says, "Stop! You're killing me!!"
Wednesday February 07,
1996
Tags #biggest offices, #file cabinet, #least need, #living monument, #proprietary documents, #stacks full, #storage psace, #efficiency
Transcript
Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."
Thursday May 16,
1996
Tags #access, #due dilogence, #information, #maniacal laughter, #merger, #phase, #proprietary
Transcript
The Boss sits across from two men from the buying company who are sitting on a couch. One man says, "In the 'due diligence' phase of our merger you will give us access to all of your proprietary information." The Boss asks, "Wouldn't that let you know how to crush us competitively? Couldn't you cancel the merger and take our customers without paying a cent?" As the two men struggle to control themselves, they think, "Must . . . contain maniacal . . . laugh . . ."
Monday September 29,
1997
Tags #document marked proprietary, #find anyone, #gain experience, #logical questions, #insubordination
Transcript
Asok the Intern says to the Boss, "I have a question about this document marked 'proprietary'." Asok holds a piece of paper and says, "If I spent my whole life searching, do you think I could find anyone who would care about this?" Asok, Dilbert, and Alice are sitting at the lunch table in the cafeteria. Asok looks angry and has his arms folded across his chest. Dilbert explains, "As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination."
Sunday March 26,
1995
Tags #photocopier, #access code, #proprietary information, #same comapny, #ask question, #who's on first
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the copier reading a message that says, "Please enter photocopier access code." A woman stands behind him. Dilbert asks, "What's the code for this machine?" The woman replies, "That's proprietary information." Dilbert says, "We work for the same company. My cubicle is down the hall." The woman says, "I have no way of verifying your claim. Anybody could come in here and say that." Dilbert says, "Ask me a question that only an employee of this company could answer." The woman replies, "Okay." The woman asks, "What is the access code for this copier?" Dilbert looks at the woman. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The woman holds up a document and says, "I just have one . . ."
Tuesday May 05,
2020
Sending Data To Elbonia
Tags #business, #business ethics, #proprietary, #data, #elbonia, #internet, #monitor, #activity, #conversation
Transcript
boss with face mask: our security team says you have been sending our proprietary data to elbonia. elbonian with face mask: you can't prove that. boss: i monitor all of your internet activities. elbonian: i monitor all of your internet activity, too. boss: then let's forget we had this conversation.
Monday January 19,
2004
Tags #flew to location, #mix up, #introdcutions, #presentations, #documents, #confsuion, #audience, #trip
Transcript
Associate: "Everyone, this is Dilbert. He flew half-way around the world to give us this presentation." Dilbert: "What? I thought I flew here so YOU could give ME a presentation." Associate: oh "Maybe I could show you some proprietary documents." Dilbert: "I'd like that."
Sunday November 14,
2004
Tags #banned, #cell phones with cae, #copied, #digital form, #emailed anywhere, #evil director, #excellent idea, #new cell ohone, #rendered useless, #scanned, #scrap book
Transcript
"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"