Proves Existence Of Dog Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
224 Results for Proves Existence Of Dog
View 1 - 10 results for proves existence of dog comic strips. Discover the best "Proves Existence Of Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 02,
1994
Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something
Transcript
"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."
Saturday April 07,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #agreements, #deals, #existence, #empire, #seem larger, #paycheck, #fair plan, #awful world, #balckmail, #boss, #employee
Transcript
Wally: IF you agree to give me no work, I will agree to not sue you with some sort of bogus employee claim. My existence will make your empire seem larger, and stockholders will get stuck with the bill for my paycheck. Boss: Why does that seem like a fair plan? Wally: We live in an awful world.
Thursday May 04,
1989
Tags #dog, #girlfriend, #single, #animals, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."
Monday May 08,
1989
Tags #aliens, #dog, #history, #animals, #education
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."
Tuesday May 16,
1989
Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."
Friday May 19,
1989
Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."
Monday August 14,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #book, #walking, #dog, #picking up, #Women, #baby, #single male, #overrated
Transcript
Dilbert looks in a book and says to Dogbert, "This book says the best time to pick up women is while walking a dog." Dogbert says, "Let's try it." Dilbert holds a leash that is wrapped around Dogbert's stomach. Dogbert walks in front of Dilbert yelling, "Yo! Baby! Whoa whoa! Shake it, don't break it! Come and get your single male!!" Dilbert says, "I think this method is overrated." Dogbert yells, "Form one line! No pushing!"
Friday August 18,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #robot dog, #devil, #master, #invention
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you mean you built a robot dog?!! You can't replace me!!" Dilbert says, "Calm down Dogbert." A robot dog comes up behind Dogbert and barks. Dogbert jumps and yells, "Aaaghh!! The devil dog! Help! Help!" The robot dog stands on his hind legs and says, "I was created to serve your every need, Master Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Okay, he can stay. But you owe me one."
Tuesday January 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #static, #electricity, #building, #thor, #dog, #thunder, #call
Transcript
Dogbert shuffles down the hallway thinking, "I can feel the static electricity building . . ." Dogbert shuffles back and forth and his fur begins to stand up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I most certainly will NOT call you 'Thor, Dog of Thunder.'" Dogbert says, "Prepare to die."
Wednesday January 10,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #static, #electricity, #usless, #resistor, #dog of thunder, #nerd, #puns, #annoys
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Maybe since you're full of static electricity, you should say 'it is useless to be a resistor.' Hee-hee-hee." Dogbert's fur is standing up. Dogbert zaps Dilbert with an electric shock. Clouds of smoke rise from Dilbert's head and his clothes are charred. Dogbert says as he walks away, "Nothing annoys the 'Dog of Thunder' quite as much as nerd puns."