Search Results for "publishing needs"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 131

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1994's comic on:

Tags #does not meet needs, #publishing needs, #plot was lame, #hated characters, #association, #insulting author, #mean publisher, #insulting publisher

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #ceo needs underling, #drink industrial sludge, #risk of brain worms, #drink himself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1992's comic on:

Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1994's comic on:

Tags #constant reorgnizing, #needs of employees, #spare parts, #liver, #jose in accounting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "These constant reorganizations do not take into consideration the needs of the employees." The Boss: "I've decided to use you for spare parts. Your liver will be sent to Jose in accounting, immediately." Dilbert: "Jose has a bad liver?" The boss: "No, but why take a chance?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1994's comic on:

Tags #book publishing, #reject people, #dismiss lifes work, #gesture, #witty comment, #not a people person, #dog, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1994's comic on:

Tags #book publishing, #reject authors, #untalented dolts, #publish something, #conventional wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #dogbert venture capitalist, #invest 5 million, #agree, #standard conditions, #chairman of board, #mow lawn, #wash car, #touch bargainer, #multimedia developers, #gardening needs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1995's comic on:

Tags #3d rendering, #career, #computing needs, #finance dept

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert is seated at a table with Dilbert. Ratbert says, "The finance department has analyzed your computing needs and decided to give you a 286 PC." Ratbert continues, "That should be sufficient for the 3D-rendering you need to do." Ratbert continues, "Besides, how many times are you going to do 3D-rendering in your career?" Dilbert responds, "Once, if I hurry."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1995's comic on:

Tags #dating for a year, #needs can't fulfill, #internet been broken

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit on the floor leaning against the couch. Dilbert says, "We've been dating for a year now, Liz. There's something I'd like to do tonight . . ." Dilbert and Liz hold hands as Dilbert continues, "There are some needs that I can't fulfill at work." Liz says, "I understand." Dilbert sits at the desk and shouts, "Yes! Yes!" Liz sits behind him reading a book. She asks, "How long has your Internet connection at work been broken?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1998's comic on:

Tags #project, #needs attention, #meeting, #helper for porject, #engineers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."