Punch A Squirrel Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

76 Results for Punch A Squirrel

View 1 - 10 results for punch a squirrel comic strips. Discover the best "Punch A Squirrel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #grades, #managers & supervisors, #small animal snuff film, #sociopath module, #punch a squirrel, #extra credit, #coffee pot, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #disguise, #squirrels, #Dilbert, #garbage, #model, #computer, #chaos theory, #complex, #Alternative, #wild guess, #spy, #squirrel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I know that my computer model is accurate, but nobody believes me when I predict that squirrels will conquer the earth." The garbage man replies, "Of course, you're aware that according to 'Chaos Theory' any complex iterative model is no better than a wild guess, even if the logic is perfect." Dilbert replies, "You're making that up." The garbage man says, "You caught me; I'm really a giant spy squirrel in disguise."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #excellence in teaming, #nearly ready, #complete buy in, #make decsions, #squirrel migration patterns

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and another worker sit at a conference table. The worker says, "I'm happy to report that the 'Excellence in Teaming' read-out is nearly ready." The worker continues, "It's taken forty people from a dozen departments to complete the study. We finally got complete buy-in." Dilbert asks, "Is that the study of why we can't make decisions?" The worker responds, "Originally. But it evolved into more of a discussion of squirrel migration patterns."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #write programs, #punch cards, #rather be fishing, #snap suspenders, #alice threat, #snap you into next week, #space time continum

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at a conference table typing on a laptop. An older man with a beard sits next to her. The man says, "I used to write programs using punch cards . . . But I'd rather be fishing . . ." Alice grabs the man by his suspenders and shouts, "Look, you bearded road apple, if you answer one more of my questions with an irrelevant story I'll snap you into next week!!" The caption says, "Sometime next week . . ." Dilbert and Wally see a hole in the air with a man's legs hanging out of it. Wally says, "Looks like a hole in the space-time continuum." Dilbert asks, "Did you hear a snap?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #modern, #society, #traditions, #future, #generations, #tradition, #people, #annual, #nose, #sausage, #day, #shout, #kalookalah, #sun, #squirrel, #dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall in the park. Dilbert says, "The problem with modern society is that we have no traditions." Dilbert continues, "We should create some traditions for future generations." Dogbert asks, "How do you create a tradition?" Dilbert replies, "Well, you just do something ridiculous every year at the same time." Dilbert continues, "Eventually other people join in and then it's a tradition." Dogbert says, "Ooh, how about 'Annual Nose-Sausage Day'? You dress in colorful robes and stick sausages in your nose!" Dilbert says, "Yes, yes . . . And we'll do a squirrel dance and shout 'kaloo--kalah' at the sun!" Dilbert says, "Or maybe not." Dogbert says, "You lost me with the squirrel dance."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #avoid work, #faking coma, #punch repeatedly, #get alice, #right or left handed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evolution class, #two day course, #surfing student, #cocky squirrel, #janiotr, #three thousand pound squirrel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #reviews, #movies, #havnet seen, #night of living squirrel, #movie reviews, #big pay, #studio, #Dogbert, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is typing at his computer. Dilbert stands next to him and asks, "How can you write reviews of movies you haven't seen?" Dogbert replies, "Easily." Dogbert reads Dilbert an excerpt from his review: "Throw away your Picasso paintings. 'Night of the Living Squirrel' is the only art you'll ever need." Dilbert, looking unimpressed, asks, "How much is the studio paying you?" Dogbert responds, "Dang... Too obvious."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #added coffee, #carpet, #coffee stain, #mans face, #miracle, #squirrel body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #three hole punch, #waltzing in, #borrowing things, #whack list, #demanding, #in exchange for, #hole punch

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."