Put In Hat Comic Strips

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489 Results for Put In Hat

View 1 - 10 results for put in hat comic strips. Discover the best "Put In Hat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scrap paper, #employees, #put in hat, #makes comforatble, #business

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #party, #hat, #new years, #resolutions, #arm chair, #spirit, #short term, #tolerance

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Dilbert: Put on you party hat, Dogbert. It's almost 1990. Do you have any new year's resolutions? Dogbert: A few... I resolve to show no tolerance for those less fortunate...

Hat Monitors Sleep

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Hat Monitors Sleep - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #hat, #control

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Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work

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Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking

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Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with

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Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #elf, #elves, #magic, #elf magic, #Dogs, #fear, #respect, #bunny, #hat, #karl, #bug

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An elf holding a top hat says to Dogbert, "Fear us, dog! We elves are magic. Watch this!" The elf pulls a giant rabbit out of the hat. The other elves run away. The elves are bruised and their clothes are tattered. An elf says, "I think we had the dog's fear and respect . . . Until the bunny made Karl eat a bug."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #Dogbert, #christmas, #gift, #hat, #humane, #society, #sweater

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Dogbert looks at a present under the Christmas tree and thinks, "I can't believe he only got ONE gift for me. This is an outrage." Dogbert thinks, "And he already told me it's a hat. A great dog like me, and he buys a hat?" A man at the Humane Society says into a telephone, "There's nothing we can do . . . Unless it has a matching sweater . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hat, #crown, #merry christmas, #christmas, #friend

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Dogbert sits on a pillow and Dilbert sits on the floor wearing his bathrobe. There is a present on the floor between them. Dogbert says, "Why should I open it? You already told me it's just a stupid hat." Dilbert replies, "Open it anyway." Dogbert opens the box and takes out a crown. Dogbert says, "Hey, it's not really a hat; it's a crown." Dogbert puts on the crown and says, "I'm not happy. I'm only humoring you." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, little friend."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #device, #satellites, #broadcasters, #illegal, #sell, #electronic, #fishing, #lure, #hijack, #hat, #Dilbert

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Dogbert says to a store clerk, "I'm looking for a device that will allow me to take over the satellites of all the major broadcasters." The salesclerk winks as he says, "It would be illegal to sell something like that. But maybe you'd be interested in an electronic fishing lure instead." The salesman continues winking as he says, "Fish can't resist the 'Hijack 3000' lure. And it comes with its own stupid-looking hat!" Dogbert says, "Clever."