Search Results for "putrid ideas"
Share January 29, 2008's comic on:
Asok: I'll tell you my idea if you promise not to reject it before thinking about it. Dilbert: I already rejected it because only putrid ideas come with warnings. Dilbert: My time management is getting better. Dogbert:I can't pretend to care."
Share July 24, 2005's comic on:
"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."
Share June 11, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.
Share October 05, 2015's comic on:
Share February 09, 2018's comic on:
Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.
Share August 06, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.
Share October 16, 2011's comic on:
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.
Share December 19, 2011's comic on:
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.
Share March 03, 2012's comic on:
Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Share April 02, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?