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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2004's comic on:

Tags #new boss, #goat head, #puts spell, #workers, #finish project, #sadistic, #fair, #witch as boss, #motivation

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The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #check, #computer, #reverse, #spell, #internet, #kiss, #dog, #prince, #lady di

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Dilbert the Frog says, "Dogbert, I need your help. Check my computer to see if there is any way to reverse the spell and make me human!" Dogbert stands on a book on a desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert thinks, "Hmm . . . 'The only way to reverse a frog spell is a kiss from a dog or a princess . . . '" Dilbert asks, "What'd it say?!!" Dogbert replies, "Gargle, you're gonna visit Lady Di."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #name, #deserve, #wrong, #world, #created, #ruebert, #robot, #spell

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Dogbert and a robot sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We need a name for you." The robot replies, "I don't deserve a name." The robot continues, "Everything that's wrong with the world is my fault. I rue the day I was created." Dogbert says, "I name you 'Ruebert.'" The robot replies, "Aaagh! People will spell it wrong and it's my fault!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1997's comic on:

Tags #rather the consultant, #consulting spell, #overly complicated, #matices, #diagrams, #intellectual superirority

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The Boss sits at a table with his arms outstretched. He says, "I am under your consulting spell." Ratbert asks, "Really?" The Boss continues, "Your overly complicated matrices and diagrams have convinced me of your intellectual superiority." The Boss says, "I am afraid to act without your approval." Ratbert asks, "Did I say you could put your arms up like that?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1997's comic on:

Tags #boss, #coincidence, #fallen under spell, #morons, #must, #pay inexperienced strangers

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Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1998's comic on:

Tags #myron not moron, #run spell check, #suggestions, #spell check

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While The Boss sits in his chair, Myron gripes while holding a memo, "My name is Myron, not Moron!" As he walks away, Myron continues, "Next time that you run spell check, don't automatically take its suggestions." The Boss thinks, "What's 'spell check'?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1998's comic on:

Tags #sabotaged, #global conspiracy, #plant misspelled work, #spell checker, #webster

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Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina says, "What the...? I've been sabotaged!" Tina stands with her arms crossed behind Wally. Wally says, "No, I'm not part of a global conspiracy to plant a misspelled word in your "spell checker". Tina holds an open dictionary. Tina says, "GASP! They got to Webster too!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2007's comic on:

Tags #tesks, #intern, #anti meeting spell, #traffic estimates, #barraged with questions, #fights ensue, #new service, #web application, #all technology, #internet bubble, #platform

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Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."

Monster Puts People In Boxes

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Monster Puts People In Boxes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #managers, #monster, #insult

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Carol: I'm writing a horror novel. It's about a horned monster who puts people in boxes and makes them do meaningless work while insulting them. Boss: That sounds great. Carol: The monster is also very dumb.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #employees, #engineers, #revenge, #loud talker, #chronic faltualator, #seating arrangements, #cubicle arrangements, #sound, #noise, #business

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Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation