Quality Award Comic Strips
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209 Results for Quality Award
View 1 - 10 results for quality award comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Award" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 19,
1994
Tags #quality award, #killed by sea turtle, #went snorkeling
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to compete for the 'Millard Bullrush Quality Award.'" Wally asks, "Bullrush? Isn't he the politician who went snorkeling and got killed by a sea turtle?" The Boss replies, "They're faster than they look." Wally says to Dilbert, "I think we can win this."
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Wednesday December 21,
1994
Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."
Tuesday December 20,
1994
Tags #total quality method, #bullrush award, #honesty award
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Describe how you used 'total quality' methods on your last project. We're applying for the Millard Bullrush Quality Award." Dilbert says, "You know I didn't use 'total quality.' I'd have to lie." The Boss responds, "Sadly, Millard passed away before he could invent the Millard Bullrush 'Honesty' Award."
Friday September 16,
2016
Aland From Quality Assurance
Tags #quality assurance, #reinforcement, #positivity
Transcript
Alan: Hi, I'm Alan, from the Quality Assurance department. Don't be worried about quality. I assure you we have plenty of it. Dilbert: That's all you do? Alan: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Tuesday October 23,
2018
Award For Cutting Costs
Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.
Thursday July 21,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #embarrassment, #not judeg, #quality of question, #technical
Transcript
Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.
Friday October 28,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags #comparing a task, #criticism, #employees, #executives, #quality is bad, #your imagination, #time, #quality, #boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Monday February 13,
2012
Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality
Transcript
Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.
Monday February 20,
2012
Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug
Transcript
CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.