Quality Of Life Comic Strips

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514 Results for Quality Of Life

View 1 - 10 results for quality of life comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Of Life" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #experiments, #rationalize, #quality, #life, #skunkopotamus, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits at the table working with test tubes and lab equipment. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I wonder if it's ethical to do these genetic experiments." Dilbert continues, "But I rationalize it because it will help improve the quality of life." Dogbert asks, "What are you making?" Dilbert replies, "Skunkopotamus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpaid overtime, #immoral, #quality of life, #designed stockholder value, #human resources, #business

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Catbert sits on his desk. Alice says to him, "The mandatory upaid overtime is immoral. It's destroying the quality of my life." Catbert replies, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . . Companies are designed to maximize stockholder value, not employee happiness." Alice says, "Maybe the head of Human Resources should be a human." Catbert replies, "Privately I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #quality of life, #catalogued, #prioritized, #list, #behaviors, #unacceptable, #bonanza, #toenails, #soup, #onion

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Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells him, "Dogbert, I've found a way to improve the quality of life around here." Dilbert holds a long list. He explains, "I've catalogued and prioritized all of the things that bother me." Dilbert hands him the list and says, "Study the list so you'll know what behaviors are unacceptable." Dogbert looks at the list and says, "Wow! Thanks! This is a real bonanza!" Dogbert continues, "You're right. This certainly will improve the quality of my life!" Dogbert continues, "I think I'll do a 'Top Hundred' countdown. This could amuse me for months." Dilbert thinks, "That didn't go as well as I'd hoped." Dilbert sits at the table eating a bowl of soup. Dogbert sits on the table in front of him and says, "Number 73: 'Clipping my toenails near your soup.'" Dilbert says, "That had better be an onion there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work three hours, #quality of life, #gigantic raise, #good time

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Tina: "Would it be okay if I worked three hours a week?" "Any more than three and my quality of life takes a steep dive." "Secondly, is this a good time to talk about a gigantic raise?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better

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Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #Advice, #personal, #life, #quality, #work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #office workers, #encouragement, #career plans, #misjudge, #5 year plan, #legacy sytems, #retirement, #projects, #protect heart, #plenty of naps, #quality of work, #pension fund, #new career plan

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Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality tester, #version 2, #engineer, #overpaid, #appear, #performance review, #office politics, #raise, #arms out, #plan, #strategy, #wave folder in face, #angry, #bug eyes, #grit teeth, #insubordination, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to help with quality testing on Version 2." Dilbert says, "I'm an engineer, not a quality tester.' Dilbert says, "If I do quality testing, even temporarily, it will make me appear grossly overpaid." Dilbert says, "That impression could work against me during my next performance review." Dilbert says, "A one percent difference in pay, compounded over the rest of my life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"

Aland From Quality Assurance

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Aland From Quality Assurance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality assurance, #reinforcement, #positivity

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Alan: Hi, I'm Alan, from the Quality Assurance department. Don't be worried about quality. I assure you we have plenty of it. Dilbert: That's all you do? Alan: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.

Work Life Balance

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Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interviewee, #interview, #employer, #company, #healthy, #work, #life, #balance, #victim

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boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show