Quality School Comic Strips
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226 Results for Quality School
View 1 - 10 results for quality school comic strips. Discover the best "Quality School" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 14,
1996
Tags #quality school, #quality black master, #title metaphoric, #breakout session, #pre course reading
Transcript
The Boss tells Wally, "After I graduate from 'Quality School' I'll be a quality black-belt master." Wally asks, "Is the title metaphoric, or is there a chance you'll be beaten senseless during a breakout session?" The Boss slices the air with his hands as if he were practicing karate and thinks, "Zip zip zip zip." The Boss hits Wally and knocks him to the floor. Wally asks, "Was that necessary?" The Boss replies, "I'm not sure. I haven't done the pre-course reading yet."
Friday September 16,
2016
Aland From Quality Assurance
Tags #quality assurance, #reinforcement, #positivity
Transcript
Alan: Hi, I'm Alan, from the Quality Assurance department. Don't be worried about quality. I assure you we have plenty of it. Dilbert: That's all you do? Alan: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Monday December 10,
2018
Carol Raises Money For School
Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.
Tuesday December 11,
2018
Selling Chocolate For School
Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.
Saturday March 26,
2011
Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet
Transcript
Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"
Thursday July 21,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #embarrassment, #not judeg, #quality of question, #technical
Transcript
Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.
Friday October 28,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags #comparing a task, #criticism, #employees, #executives, #quality is bad, #your imagination, #time, #quality, #boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Monday February 13,
2012
Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality
Transcript
Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.
Sunday June 03,
2012
Tags #laziness, #office workers, #encouragement, #career plans, #misjudge, #5 year plan, #legacy sytems, #retirement, #projects, #protect heart, #plenty of naps, #quality of work, #pension fund, #new career plan
Transcript
Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.