Quiet Comic Strips
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30 Results for Quiet
View 1 - 10 results for quiet comic strips. Discover the best "Quiet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #quiet times, #delicious, #silence, #noise, #annoying, #inane, #chatter
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I really enjoy these quiet times we have." Dilbert continues, "Just delicious silence. No annoying noise. No inane chatter." Dogbert says, "Apparently you don't listen to you, either."
Monday April 26,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #justify, #computer, #Draw, #attention, #empowerment, #quiet
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "I need to work on something big so I can justify my existence here." Dilbert thinks, "But not something important, because that would draw attention to me at a time of staff cuts." Dilbert thinks, "What can I do that costs a lot but nobody wants?" The Boss walks by thinking, "'Empowerment' sure made them quiet."
Tuesday January 17,
1995
Tags #volume of work, #quiet leadership, #inspires us, #promote, #manager, #work ethic, #use documents, #heat house, #job offering, #writing
Transcript
The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."
Friday December 12,
1997
Tags #go home early, #exempt employee, #unimportant document, #shuffle around, #quiet desparation
Transcript
Asok says, "I finished all my work. Can I go home early?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss explains, "You're an 'exempt' employee. That means you're exempt from having a life." Asok says, "I guess I could clench an unimportant document and shuffle around in quiet desperation." The Boss says, "That's the spirit!"
Monday January 24,
2000
Tags #extroverted thinker, #human resources, #myers briggs personality, #quiet dumb guy, #personality types, #business
Transcript
Wally, the boss, Asok, Alice and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says: "From now on, all teams will be formed on the basis of Myers-Briggs personality types." The boss says: "If you do not have a personality, one will be assigned to you by human resources." Catbert is standing on the table reading the sheet of paper he is holding, he says to Wally: "We need a quiet dumb guy to pair with an extroverted thinker."
Monday February 21,
2005
Tags #glue stick, #quiet, #chapstick
Transcript
The boss: "Did I leave my chapstick in here? Ooh, there it is." "Tastes different." Wally: "I lost a good glue stick. But I gained a few hours of quiet."
Tuesday November 15,
2005
Tags #what fresh hell, #eyebrows grow, #comb them, #asleep, #quiet today
Transcript
"What fresh hell is this?" "I'm letting my eyebrows grow out." "If I comb them over my eyes, no one can tell that I'm asleep." "You're quiet today."
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Tuesday October 25,
2011
Tags #big business, #meetings, #succession plan, #awesome and charismatic, #replace you, #bag of moss
Transcript
CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.
Tuesday August 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #spoken, #smart, #chime, #unproductive, #insightful
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people. Dilbert thinks, "I haven't spoken for this whole meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I'll wait for a quiet space and chime in with something that makes me look smart." The man next to Dilbert asks, "Does anybody have any unproductive yet insightful comments to show how smart they are?" Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Yo."