Random Number Geneartor Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

192 Results for Random Number Geneartor

View 1 - 10 results for random number geneartor comic strips. Discover the best "Random Number Geneartor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tour of accounting, #random number geneartor, #randomness

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Tour of Accounting. Dilbert is wiping spit off of himself with a towel. A troll tour guide says, "Over here we have our random number generator." The troll places its hands on a slab of rock and relays the message of "nine nine nine nine." Dilbert asks, "Are you sure that's random?" The troll responds, "That's the problem with randomness. You can never be sure."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Random Number Generator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #communication skills, #poor skills, #random numbers, #spreadsheet, #clarify, #listening skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #woman, #dream, #phone number

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "I'm so mad at myself this morning." Dilbert continues, "Last night I dreamed I met a beautiful woman." Dogbert asks, "So what's the problem?" Dilbert replies, "I forgot to get her phone number."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #scientific, #test, #women's institution, #Number, #5.`362894, #love, #numbers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #solitaire, #cards, #random, #declare, #winner, #satisfying, #arm chair, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table holding some playing cards. He thinks, "I can't remember the rules for solitaire." Dogbert thinks, "I'll just put the cards in random piles and then declare myself the winner." Dilbert sits back in the chair and looks at the piles. He thinks, "That was surprisingly satisfying."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #link, #arms, #stimulate, #dna, #structure, #celebrity, #random

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "Since this is the first time you've been to a Mensa meeting, I'll explain a few things." The man continues, "When the music stops we all link arms to simulate the DNA structure of a featured celebrity." The man says quietly, "To be honest, I think a lot of it is just random."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #think, #spare, #feelings, #hideous, #compost, #random, #colors, #hackneyed, #poorly, #executed, #embarrassing, #proof, #utter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"