Random Jargon Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

116 Results for Random Jargon

View 1 - 10 results for random jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Random Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

World's Greatest Economist

Thank you for voting.
World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2015's comic on:

Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Boss Freestyles With Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Boss Freestyles With Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2016's comic on:

Tags #language, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #nonsense, #gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.

Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix

Thank you for voting.
Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2017's comic on:

Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.

Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2017's comic on:

Tags #jargon, #language, #matrix, #communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...

Jargon Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Jargon Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #huddle, #jargon, #calendar

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity. dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning! ted: i'll send you a calendar invite. dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

Dilbert Characters

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2019's comic on:

Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2011's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #communication skills, #poor skills, #random numbers, #spreadsheet, #clarify, #listening skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #gloating, #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #digital media curation, #trendy jargon, #ignorance on dsiply, #not worthy, #curation means

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.