Search Results for "rat hammer"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 128

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."

If All You Have Is A Hammer

Thank you for voting.
If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

Thank you for voting.
Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2016's comic on:

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1989's comic on:

Tags #irrational, #windshield, #Dilbert, #shake, #hammer, #car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1990's comic on:

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #good, #host, #sinister, #paranoia

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1990's comic on:

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #through, #wall, #doctor, #die, #over the wall

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #lab rat, #noise, #escaped, #laboratory, #mac and cheese

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's that noise? Dogbert: It sounds like a rat, escaped from a nearby laboratory, chewing a hole through our front door to avoid sure death from a hideous macaroni-and-cheese-experiement. Dilbert: That's amazing. Dogbert: These babies aren't just for good looks, you know.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lab rat, #escape, #laboratory, #embassy, #rat, #special, #treatment

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab rat: Greetings, dog. I've come to live in your house and escape from my job at the laboratory. You could think of me as a political exile seeking sanctuary in a friendly embassy. Dogbert: I could think of you as a rat. Lab rat: Okay, but I don't expect any special treatment.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #lab rat, #professor, #indifidual, #respect, #escaped, #laboratory, #individual

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab Rat: I wasn't getting any respect at the lab... I felt used. Sure... The food was good-and lots of it... But I don't think the professor valued me as an individual. And a rat without respect is like... Like... Dogbert: Like you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rat, #plague-carrying, #vermin, #household, #personality, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."