Search Results for "rat hole"
Share October 08, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need you to dig a huge rat hole, so companies can throw money in it." Ratbert dances and says, "Yes!!!" Dogbert says, "I might share some of the money with you." Ratbert says, "You had me at 'hole.'" Ratbert and Dogbert are outside. Ratbert is digging a huge hole and says, "When should I stop digging?" Dogbert replies, "When you smell feet."
Share October 09, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."
Share October 10, 2002's comic on:
A man carrying a bag of money approaches the "Rat Hole." He says to Dogbert, "I can't decide if I should throw 25 million dollars down a rat hole or..." The man continues, "... Buy a ride into space on a Russian rocket ship." The man is throwing his money into the hole. Dogbert asks, "What about the poor?" The man replies, "Do they have a rocket?"
Share July 26, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert: What's that noise? Dogbert: It sounds like a rat, escaped from a nearby laboratory, chewing a hole through our front door to avoid sure death from a hideous macaroni-and-cheese-experiement. Dilbert: That's amazing. Dogbert: These babies aren't just for good looks, you know.
Share March 23, 2016's comic on:
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
Share April 06, 2011's comic on:
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."
Share January 27, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Share June 24, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Google found out that we used fake links to boost our search rank. Now our website only shows up when someone enters the search string "dung for brains." Boss: They won't get away with this! Computer: Shut your pie hole.
Share November 12, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.
Share July 24, 1990's comic on:
A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."