Rat Talks Garbageman Comic Strips
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Ratbert sits on a garbage can and says, "So... each photon is a universe.. then mass is just a probability cluster?" THe trash man says, "That's how I see it." Ratbert holds his head in his hands like it's about to explode and says, "Wow! I think my tiny skull is so full it's going to explode." The garbage man says holds a plastic bag of trash and says, "Let me get a tarpaulin." Dogbert walks up and says, "Have you been talking to our garbage man again?" Ratbert sits on a canvas tarp and holds his head. He says, "Don't get too close."
Ratbert stands on a garbage can. Garbage Man collects the garbage. Ratbert says, "Do you mind if I jump on the garbage?" Ratbert says, "I don't know why, but when I see a fresh pile of garbage, I just want to jump up and down on it." Ratbert jumps on the garbage and screams, "Yee-ha!!" Garbage Man thinks, "The best things in life are silly." Garbage Man smiles.
Ratbert: I wish I were smart like you. Then Id get some respect. GarbageMAN: We're all smart in different ways, Your special gift may be creativity, a talent , or even the ability to love. Ratbert: I can burp my cheeks full ...urp. Garbage Man: Id go with that If I were you.
Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.
A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."