Ratio Comic Strips

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17 Results for Ratio

View 1 - 10 results for ratio comic strips. Discover the best "Ratio" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #helen, #man, #resume, #requested, #formula, #calculate, #ratio, #height, #baldness, #Men, #different, #nights

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Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1994's comic on:

Tags #ratio, #liquidity to stupidity, #reincarnation fund, #985 water, #cheap suit, #amazing brain

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Dogbert: Good news - your ratio of liquidity is very low. You qualify to invest in my reincarnation fund. Man: If my ratio is low, that means IM ...uh... Made of liquid. Dogbert: Id say you're 98% water, 2% cheap suit, and whats left is your amazing brain.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1994's comic on:

Tags #classes, #get mba, #big name school, #knowledge, #not prestige, #tonys, #house, #mbas, #babe ratio

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"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1995's comic on:

Tags #assets ratio, #boost, #security department, #brisk redcution, #joking, #den

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We need to boost our return-on-assets ratio." Wally says, "Let's eliminate the security department. That would cut expenses while allowing for a brisk reduction in assets." As they walk away, Dilbert asks Wally, "When are you planning to tell him you were joking?" Wally responds, "After I furnish my den."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1997's comic on:

Tags #open book management, #debt, #equity ratio, #sweeping, #broom, #carpets

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The janitor stands behind Alice at her workstation and says, "... then I sez, "Hey our debt to equity ratio is increasing." The janitor sweeps his broom through the air. "I lept into action and started seeping like I've never swept before!" The janitor says, "Then I sez, 'Hey, why am I using a broom on carpets?'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2001's comic on:

Tags #work ratio, #one in eight, #talking about work, #count as wrok

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Dilbert and Wally stand drinking coffee and talking. Wally asks, "What's the ratio of work to gabbing that is still considered 'work'?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say one-in-eight, maybe one-in-nine." Wally agrees, "Sounds right." Dilbert pauses and asks, "Does talking about work count as work?" Wally replies, "Well, I'm not enjoying it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2002's comic on:

Tags #boss booked, #highest ratio, #unavailabilty, #usefulness, #sound insulting, #do math, #human resources, #business

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Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2004's comic on:

Tags #p/u ratio, #sky rocketing, #productivity, #useful, #mistake, #distarction, #backwards

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"Your P/U ratio is skyrocketing again." "My what?" "Productivity-to-usefulness. It means you produce a lot, but everything you produce is a mistake or a distraction." "I told you last time to do less work!" "Oooh... I did that backwards."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2004's comic on:

Tags #spreadsheet for accuracy, #impenetrable jumble, #poorly organized, #cryptic labels, #simple document, #ratio of returns, #sales taxes, #roprtgresta, #organizing, #taxes, #coulumns

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"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."

Signal To Noise Ratio

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Signal To Noise Ratio - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2018's comic on:

Tags #compliments, #backhanded compliment, #criticism, #engineers

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Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.