Re Existing Illness Comic Strips
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52 Results for Re Existing Illness
View 1 - 10 results for re existing illness comic strips. Discover the best "Re Existing Illness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 10,
2003
Tags #life insurance, #exclusions, #self inflicted wounds, #re existing illness, #criminal acts, #war, #quilting bees
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert hands him a pamphlet and says, "Would you like to buy some life insurance?" Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Exclusions: Self-inflicted wounds, pre-existing illness, criminal acts, war, dangerous sports, smoking..." Headline: Much later that day. Dilbert is still reading, "...And pistol duels resulting from quilting bees." Dogbert replies, "No one reads it, freak!"
Saturday October 14,
1995
Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #too stressful, #company counselor, #re engineered, #counseling process, #cover sand
Transcript
An employee sits in Catbert's office. The man says, "My job is too stressful. Can I see a company counselor?" As he plays with the ball of string on his desk, Catbert replies, "I re-engineered our counseling process. Now we put you in a big hole and cover you with sand." The man stands in the hole while Catbert kicks sand onto him. The employee says, "If this is my only benefit I'd better get a LOT of sand!" Catbert says, "Just keep your mouth open."
Wednesday February 21,
1996
Tags #software development work, #tiny nation, #elbonia, #integrating software, #existing systems, #tuberculosis vaccination
Transcript
Alice says to Dilbert, "I heard that our software development work has been moved to the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dilbert responds, "Things can't get worse than that." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Dilbert, you're in charge of integrating the Elbonian's software with our existing systems." Dilbert looks stunned. Dilbert says to Alice, "Okay, NOW it can't get any worse." The Boss adds, "You might want to get a tuberculosis vaccination."
Friday December 20,
1996
Tags #ratbert the consulatant, #existing computer, #new one, #new system, #devastating, #paid exactly the same
Transcript
Ratbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Ratbert says, ". . . Then we'll turn off the existing computer systems and fire up the new one." Dilbert asks, "What if the new system doesn't work on the first try? Won't the economic impact be devastating?" Ratbert says, "Let me check my contract . . . Nope. I get paid exactly the same." Dilbert says, "Yeah, same here."
Thursday September 11,
2003
Tags #created time line, #identified resources, #revise timeline, #re examine, #thousand ways, #haven't done anything
Transcript
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."
Sunday November 10,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sales personnel, #existing system, #ignorance us not an option, #survey
Transcript
Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.
Saturday October 12,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention
Transcript
Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click
Wednesday July 23,
2014
Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious
Transcript
CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.
Wednesday May 17,
2017
Re Accomodation On The Flight
Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight
Transcript
Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.
Thursday September 29,
2011
Tags #dont know, #flashdrive, #gadgets, #hand, #illness, #where its been, #data
Transcript
Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.